Rob's Pile of Transformers: Rob's Best (and Worst) of Alt.Toys.Transformers 2002

THREAD: " (RANT) where are the weapons?"
No more guns made from animal butts, please!
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THREAD: "Returning dignity to the name Deathsaurus (Delurking)"
A new poster claims Deathy's old and most famous nick. Good luck, guy; you'll need it.
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THREAD: "[TRANNIES] A List of Eligible Fanfics from ATT"
My, aren't we being meticulous this year? And.... someone actually managed to get upset over this?? No, wait, he apologized. Cool.
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THREAD: "a Moto to live by"
From Jackpot:
The key is, those people don't shout their opinion to the heavens like
the more negative fans do. Nobody starts a "Bob Skir added to TF
something I regard with lukewarm indifference!!!!" thread.
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THREAD: " Goodbye!"
Fanfic master Sky Shadow takes a leave of absence from ATT. ATT's loss, really.
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The thread "Rob's Best (and Worst) of ATT 2001" turns into a polydirectional flame fest. Fer luv of god, people. So much for peace and harmony.
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THREAD: "9-11 and we still can't get along"
THREAD: "Yes there are Mean ATTers and they do exist"
Liane started these threads. I refuse to say anything about them.
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THREAD: "What's the most you ever spent on any one transformer?"
Including a disection of Targetmaster Scourge's peculiar rarity.
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THREAD: "ESSAY/DRIVEL: 5FOD thoughts, or, 'Who died and made you Prime?'"
Look! Look! Topical, intelligent discussion! Look!!!!!... why are there only ten posts in this thread?
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THREAD: "Supreme Air Attack Primal- TRU Exclusive"
Optimus Prime may be a TRUKK NOT A STOOPID LITTLE MONKEE, but he's a very very *large* NOT A STOOPID LITTLE MUNKEE.

From T[alt163]rin, who will not get his nick spelled properly on my computer till he ditches that silly accent:
noname wrote:
> We do get TRU exclusives here, I'm just not sure if we get TRU
> exclusives or not

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THREAD: "The Girl-Fan" (Herongale) makes a cool and happy debut post.

From Jackpot, on Skyfire as a scientist:
That angle lasted for about a half an hour in the show, then when
Skyfire got thawed out, he turned from "We should study life, not kick
its ass" to "I'm a big jet! Let's kick ass!" Blah.
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From Thy, in a discussion about mysterious letters on the Decepticon jets' air intakes:
Zob the Builder wrote:
> Another idea is that if you collect all the different types of
> non-blunderscrounges that were produced, the letters spell out a secret
> message. :)

Be.... sure.... to.... drink.... your.... Ovaltine?!
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THREAD: "Fun with Classic Pretenders!"
Zob turns his kids loose with some Pretender shells, and Grimlock gets dressed up for a night on the town.
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THREAD: "Galvatron/Megatron observations"
See how interesting and informative MIG/MING debate can be when nobody's got an agenda to push?
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THREAD: "Old Ezboard "Allspark" is in a evil owners hands now."
Vindicator attempts to bleed dry and leave it as a dead husk!
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THREAD: "NBC's Third Watch with added Megatron ( 1/14/02 )"
RiD's Galvatron goes prime time!
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THREAD: "What is your worst transformers memory??"
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THREAD: "What does Alpha Trion transform into?"
From Bluestreak7:
Zob wrote:
>If he'd been reconfigured to transform, you'd think his body would have been
>altered to reflect that beyond the addition of a cape and a longer beard.

Maybe that is his alt-mode. His robot mode is A-3 and he transforms into an
old man.
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From Shadowwing:
T-rin wrote:
>I've managed to shuck off a lot of the things that were causing me
>stress for the last couple of years and I think I have a bit of time to
>actually read the newsgroup again, for a while.

So your single again? :)
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THREAD: " Possible "Armada" Hint?"
Tengu says, to the befuddlement of all:
Actually, I'm really just another raving Transfan lunatic, writing
Hasbro FAQs based on rumors and hearsay that my neighbor's cat
scribbled on my sister's piano teacher's vacation home's garage door.
I suppose I should slap some disclaimer on every one of my posts like
"This information all could change, 'cause a billion-dollar toy
company's plans for the next fiscal year are always likely to turn on
a dime, and that would make my post *seem* wrong but it would actually
be right from the perspective of me trying to garner esteem among a
fringe group of scoop-hungry hobbyists." Thank you, drive through,
have fun with the robots, and enjoy the rest of our show.

Me, I'm ridin' with Chop Shop 'til the fucking wheels fall off.
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THREAD: " [ART] TAKOTANK! (also: Fan Art!)"
Also: Flame War!
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THREAD: "Dreamwave needs a hand. :)"
They need a hand. With female Autobots.

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From Quag Prime, who knows the counterpart's intention and
saves companies together with the sky links:
Hey, I've been having trouble welding small (.080" dia.) tungsten
matrix cathode pellets to molybdenum heater bodys. We're using a
neodymium YAG Korad laser with 75/25 tungsten/rhenium and ruthenium
coated moly weld disks (.099" dia. and .0035" thick). These suckers
keep cracking at the pellet. The contract has been extended to March,
but we're running out of time and I'd hate to let NASA down.

Anyone? Anyone?
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THREAD: "[MISC] Rob's TF movie proposal online"
Rob Jung shares his (rejected) story treatment for a new Transformers movie. Pretty damn cool. Unless you're Deathy (presently calling himself PredakingX).
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THREAD: "[TOY] SIGHTING: New Spychangers found!"
Mini-Scourge, Micro-Magnus, et al. hit stores.

From Irrellius:
Dave Van Domelon wrote:
<< > For doubters, here's some pics:
> >>

Well, I'm leaning more towards believing you, but I won't be convinced until
you buy some and send them to me.
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THREAD: "Dreamwave's TF Comic, the incentive cover"
From ViceGripX:
Zac Shipley wrote:
> I heartily encourage everyone to get subscriptions through this process
>because it WILL get you access to things comic shops won't.

Yes. Pretty thing. Shiney things. You want pretty, shiney things don't you?
You know you do!
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THREAD: "[MISC] Defining the new: "Neo-G1"? "
Where does G1 end? And what are we going to refer to the new comics as?

From Jackpot, again in the "Ewww" department:
And I don't think it needs to or even *should* be put to a
vote. If a person wants to start using "Neo-G1" or something else or
nothing at all, it's completely his or her choice. I'm just spilling my
seed over ATT's tender, fresh soil.

- Jackpot (So to speak.)
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THREAD: "Idea for TFs that turn into "things".... =)"
Not to be confused with those other TFs that turn into "stuff".

From Jen One:
if your gun also transforms then you have two Autobots who can fight instead of
just one. (Hmmmmm, what would happen if you had a Target Master whose gun
transformed, and then he had a gun that also transformed, and then HE had a gun
that transformed..... =))
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THREAD: "I got PREDAKING today!"
Dinobot gestalts, the origin of the name "Maximal", and more.

From Michael Peavy :
My personal theory is they used names that sounded dynamic and caught
your attention. But theories are like butts. Most everyone has one.

Getting back to the subject, I used to have a Headstrong, and I was
actually afraid as a little kid to get the other four, since there was no
way my Autobots could defeat such a monstrosity. Except Beachcomber,
he was a hardcore ninja who preferred peace in my fevered youthful
imagination. But Beachcomber could only kick so much ass.
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THREAD: "ARMADA: ATT After ToyFair 2002"
From Hooks:
Skyhammer: Well, Toyfair's here! I have images of the new Transformers ARMADA
line ready for viewing at my website,! Enjoy!

TrAnZfAn2oo2: WHAT?!?! THAT is ARMADA, WTF???? Hasbrow SUCKS because they DIDNT

WiiGiiRunny: Dude. Hasbro didn't tell us nuthin'.

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THREAD: "Furman's Alignment story"
What will the future of this Transforce exclusive story be? And is it fanfic, or... something *more*?

From Recharge:
*Charge holds the Alignment story hostage over a scanner*

"Don't make me do it! I'll scan it! I swear to God! The light's warmed up!"

Hooks: Oh, lawsy! He's serrius!

Walky: Careful men! He'll do it! He's crazy!
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From Thylacine2000:
TFs that die unfairly, jarringly, abruptly, and only because the cartoon writers
were running out of time.... now being *officially and canonically* resurrected as
BC exclusives..... well, that's honestly worth the price of Botcon admission in
itself. Woo! Ravage ain't dead anymore! Woo! Airazor! *TIGATRON! Ha ha!
Eat that, Furman! Eat it! EAT, I say! Do you not understand? It is NOT over,
finished! Ttttthhhhhhbbbppppttttt!

*gasp* *puff* *pant*
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Words of wisdom from Quag Prime:
Consider, why do people complain so hard about Transformers when
they're Transformer fans? Because (to generalize) every fan fell in
love with some aspect of the mythos at one time, and they complain
when that particular beloved facet is no longer what they find in the
line/story etc. People want to see G1. They want to see BW. We want
to see our favorite aspects of the stories told again just like they
were in the day. Unfortunately, no one will truely get everything
they want to get out of Transformers, and nothing that ever happens
with Transformers one will ever please everyone.
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THREAD: Jackpot found @ Target"
From Recharge, quoting Mo(ron)jojo Prime:
>Get some pussy you pathetic loosers!!!

I did. I was quite disappointed in it's lack of posability and lack of
pleasing aesthetics. What the big deal about this piece has been blown way out
of porportion. Probably the product got all hyped up in Japan. You know what
they say about the grass being greener...
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THREAD: "Canonical Female Decepticons FOUND!"
And Primus wept.
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[Some stuff happened in here, but we're not really concerned with any of it. All nonsense, naturally.]

THREAD: "Armada - Machine Beast Car Robot Wars in Disguise"
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[There were no further posts for a good two weeks]

From Steve-o:
Turin wrote:
> We know they never opened the Matrix of Leadership because we would have
> hear "The Touch" playing, which didn't happen.

Another excellent point. That's not just background music or part of the
episode score. There's a little switch on the inside of the Matrix that
detects when it's been open and it starts pounding out the tunes. (Like
the switch on a refrigerator that turns on the interior light.) Some
people have even suggested that this feature is one of the reasons that
the Matrix is used so infrequently.
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From Derek Smith
THREAD: Black Recolors History Month
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[And then another two months of utterly inexplicable silence! I don't understand at all.]

March or April or something: the Trannies arrive!
Some favorite quotes:

From Best Cartoon Ep of the Year:
"The Fish Test"- From the dippy concept of an on-line fish personality
test to the sight of a screaming Sky Byte running around with three
flaming, fake bullet trains strapped to his back, this embodies truly
embodies the very best that a translated Japanese TF parody has to offer.

From Best Multi-parter Ever:
"The Agenda" gets my vote! It's got everything! Big CGI G1 characters,
Russian Ravage, and that bit where you just know Megtron's going to fail
because he's talking so damn much, and then he succeeds anyway.
--Eric Schwartz

Worst Ep of the Year:
"The Decepticons". Or, as I like to call it, "Don't Just Do Something,
--M Sipher

Worst Multipart Ep Ever:
Return of Optimus Prime. Why the hell can't he simply stay dead? This
guy is worse than Jesus.

Funniest Ep Ever:
There aren't any funny episodes. All Transformers stories are full of
dark, gritty realism and angst. I know a trick question when I see it.

From Worst Comic Issue:
The one where the micromasters wrestle inside the carwash of doom, as
Optimus Prime commits ritualistic suicide after buying Shockwave some 3D
glasses. Or something.
--Citizen V

From Worst Comic Writer:
Attention all Transfromers! Let it be known right here and now that LARRY
DOESN'T LIKE YOU! That's right! So don't, I repeat, don't, for your own
saftey's sake go anywhere NEAR a GI Joe comic! You'll be
mis-characterised, dismembered, exploded, responsible for exciting
electrons and partake in a plot so astounding that it should be in a Roger
Corman Film! Heck, if you're really unlucky, Snake Eyes will use the
Ariskange mind Set on you!
--Rick R. Mortis

From Worst Comic Cover:
US G1 Issue 1. We've got a strangely transformed gears, flying through
the sky, shooting at a giant Laserbeak while a Godzilla sized, Speedo
wearing Optimus Prime tramples an overpass while squeezing an unidentified
Skyraider between his horrible mal proportioned hand, connected to a
horrible mal proportioned arm. Meanwhile, the ghost of Sparkplug Witwickey
and a young Anakin Skywalker watch on. I'm surprised people didn't hate
Transformers from the very beginning (or burst into spasmodic seizures)
simply because of this cover.
--GR Crosscut

From Worst Bob Budiansky Plot Device:
Hey, hey, no fair! Bob Budiansky CREATED Transformers! You don't see a
bunch of Star Wars fans flaming George Lucas for ruining Star Wars, do
...wait. Nevermind. *facepalm*
--David "Walkerton" Willis

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May 2002: The Dreamwave G1 comic arrives, causing ATT to erupt in flames and
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THREAD: "Is it Defcon or Devcon?"
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From Aaron Bourque:
Okay . . .

Defcon = kick-ass bounty hunter from "The Gambler"

Devcon = possibly kick-ass-but-probably-fanwankily-twinkish-
loser-mcposeurboy from the "Wreckers" BotCon comic.

Dephkahn = evil, enhanced super soldier who tried to kill
Captimus Kirk and the crew of the starship *Energon* in an
episode of TOS who's title I forget and the major motion picture
"The Wrath of Dephkahn."

Aaron "The Mad Whitaker" Bourque
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THREAD: "Stop hating Dreamwave"
From Cyb:
On 11 May 2002 03:20:48 GMT, (Paul Segal) wrote:
>Guess what? You are bitching. The fact that you're bitching about other people
>bitching doesn't make it any better.

Hehe, bitching about bitching about bitching. Yes, we are transfans!
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THREAD: "Dreamwave Transformers Issue 2!! [SPOILERS]"
Iacon says:
The ship explodes, apparently killing all who were aboard, and
somehow Spike decides to blame Prime for this? Calls him a "liar" even?
"Yeah, you got me, Spike. I told you I would come back when, in fact, I
was planning on just blowing up myself and everyone I know. Hah! You
should see the look on your face!"
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THREAD: "Heroes of Cybertron Skywarp Tech Spec"
From Walky, quoting Iacon:
> A retarded backwards storyboarder with a cerebro-shell jammed up his
> medulla oblongata, of course. It's insultingly obvious that Toei was
> privately funded by Smitco, a well-known Insecticon sympathizer. They had
> every reason to distort the truth- a truth which can only now be revealed by
> Hasbro in the advent of Smitco's well-deserved demise. If your rudimentary
> processor cannot grasp that, I may just have to commit ritual suicide in
> flabbergasted disgust.

Oh, yes, if you completely ignore PHYSICS. You're saying that this
Insecticon was firing said cerebro shell from behind this storyboarder?
Well, I'll have you know that his head fell back and to the left.

Back... and to the left.

No, there must have been a second shooter.

And his name is?

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From Shadowwing:
Subject: Re: Arcee bust (STATUE)?
Túrin wrote
>Heh, good thing you put (STATUE) in the subject, I was going to get all
>excited there for a minute.

Especially when Zob brought up "Hard Hero".

And that represents my dirty joke for the month. Have a good day.
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THREAD: "I Truly Hate This Fandom"
Well, we scared away Bob Skir. Great goin', folks. :/ Behold, an entire
thread devoted to the furious, agressive discussion of.... nothing.
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THREAD: "TF MUSIC CD!!! ROBERT WALSH!!!!" 'Nuff said.... for now. Will it happen? Time will
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From Mouse_Pad:
"Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale" wrote in message

> As a fan, I'd love the idea of new Primes...Oedipus Prime, Herpesmus Prime,
> Alphamus Prime, Pi Prime...but I understand why we would get new Optimus'
> as well. Hopefully, Botcon/3H will do more retconning. :)

Oedipus Prime? That's a frightening thought. He kills his father
(Optimus?), marries his mother (Elita?), and when he learns exactly what
happened, gouges out his optics. Well, that would certainly be a more
mature TF story.

Pi Prime would have an infinately long trailer, I reckon.

How about Julius Prime? He'd be betrayed and killed by his friend Bruticus.

Or Jesus Prime...or maybe not.
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THREAD: " Stupid question"
ATT becomes a convenient sample population to test for virginity. Oy.
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From Zob, on PVC Act-8's chase figures:
Paul Segal wrote:
(Quoting someone else, quoting Sky Shadow:)
>>>Exactly how much chasing do I need to do to get a chase figure, i.e.
>>>what are the chances of a Coronation Starscream being in an Act-8
>>In all honesty, it's 50%. Either it's in there or it isn't.
>Um, just because there are only two possible states doesn't mean that
>they're distributed evenly.

Actually, they're Schroedinger's PVC's. The chase figures are simultaneously
contained and not contained in every single case, but you won't know which one
it is until you open the box. :)
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NEWS: Megabolt Megatron, repaint Obsidian, repaint Vehicons-as-Autobots 3-pack, repaint Laser Cycles, and repaint Storm Jet start hitting stores, and RiD Scourge begins shipping.
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THREAD: "Invisibility"
A great discussion of how Mirage can't possibly do that thing he does.
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THREAD: "Heroes of Cybertron PVCs - Wow"
Some good bot/con/human debates.
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From Doug Dlin:
On May 21, 2002, "Túrin" wrote:
> Optimus Prime commands, "Autobots, to the air!" whereupon they all fly
> up into the air.

Of course, he might simply have been proposing a toast, and they simply
misunderstood. Their faith in him and desire to follow his orders was
so strong that they actually managed to get aloft several times before
it occurred to any of them that this wasn't possible.
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THREAD: "Question for those who enjoy Transformers and Star Wars"
How cool would transforming Star Wars ships be?
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From White Cat: (Desperado00) wrote..
> If it were possible, which I know it's not, what Star Wars vehicles would you
> like to see released as Transformers toys? Here's my list:
> Death Star (which transforms into Unicron :)

So, if this Unicron fought himself, who would win? :)
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June 2002: Gravity attracts matter toward the center of the Earth at a constant accellerational rate of 9.8 meters per second squared, causing ATT to erupt in flames and chaos.
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* Ben Yee reviews Supreme Primal with tons of cool pix
* updates with lots of fun Armada info including tech specs
* Dreamwave G1 #3 hit stands.
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THREAD: "Babes who collect and are single..."
Oh dear lord. THIS again. And hey..... nice toy guide.
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THREAD: "Grant Morrison on TFs"
X-Men's writer takes a vague pot-shot at nostalgia-driven toy and comic lines.
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THREAD: "Why can't they release megatron?"
Again, THIS again.
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THREAD: "[GENERAL] Tell me again what's wrong with 'gestalt'?"
Well, you see, Steve-o, it just doesn't have the same catchy ring as "Stickemtogetherbots".
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6/16/02 and offer up a whole pile of Armada wave one reviews and pictures. Coooool!
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THREAD: "Maybe an old question..."
A newcomer's questions and curiosity about Beast Wars sparks some good discussion.
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THREAD: "RID/CR toys are not superior to Armada toys-->CR toys in review."
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From Xis:
"Deathsauras" wrote...
[re: the new Spychangers]
> Rumor has it those 4 are either new hasbro molds or discarded takara
> molds. either way takara never sold them in Japan so they dont count.

So they're not new molds if they weren't released in Japan?

Err, so does that even though Armada will start shipping in June, it won't
really exist until December, when Japan gets it? Or are the Armada figures
'not new molds' until six months later, when they suddenly become 'new
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From Ground Zero:
Who cares
about action features? I never cared for them as a kid (they were always
useless, and either broke or got lost), and I'm tired of shooting myself in
the eye with an "action feature" while transforming these guys. ;-)
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From Desparado00, in the "We really have sunk to a new low" department:
And, btw, thank you for actually flaming me for what I wrote, and not putting
words in my mouth.
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From Mark Brown:
"Canon:" the officially complete set of something (with various values of
"complete," as in the Canon of English Literature).

"Kanon:" one of my high school English teachers.

"Cannon:" an artillery piece, either mobile or fixed to a structure or

"Don't make me invoke the cannon."
THREAD: "regarding the DW comic: Is it really necessary to draw exactly like the toy?"

NEWS: Air Attack Optimus Primal hits stores! GO BUY MUNKEE.
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THREAD: "[GENERAL] Tell me again what's wrong with 'gestalt'?" -- still going!
From Steve-o, quoting Zob:
> I probably can't stress enough, though, that I'm not trying to enforce my
> own, personal preferences regarding "correct" terminology on anybody else.

Yeah, right, dictator. You want everybody to be just like you.

> I will,
> in all probability, continue to use the terms that I feel are the most
> self-evident regardless of what kind of concensus is reached, here.

Troublemaker. You can't stand to be like everybody else.

THREAD: "Way OT: Korea lost :("
Way old news: PDiddy dumb.
THREAD: "He's on your shelf, BUT YOU HATE HIM!!!"

From Mark Brown, regarding the differences between "Dark Awakening" and "The Return of Optimus Prime":
Here's the benefit of having a selective memory; I tend to steamroll over
the continuity glitches as they happen. :p
From Jackpot, quoting the latest Transformer solicitations:
> Specialty Market Exclusive! Fortress Maximus is the commander of the
> Autobot Headmasters. His head transforms into
> Cerebros (fortress), and Cerebros's head transforms into Spike. His
> body transforms into some kind of assault base, which can
> fly like a spaceship.

Heh heh heh. Way to sell it, there.

"It's some kind of... I dunno. Shit, man, call it an 'assault base' or
something. A flying... spaceborne... assault base. Whatever, it's
5:00, I'm gone."
THREAD: "[META] Articulation Vs. Poseability "
From the "The purpose of the Túrin is to flip out and kill people" department:
I don't understand how someone can use a word, and they mean it to mean
something, and you know what they mean by it, and everyone else does
too, and then say it isn't a real word. Well it's a bloody fine
illusion is all I can say. That's like saying an orange isn't a real
fruit because the corner grocery store doesn't sell any. What the smeg?

July 2002: Transformers celebrates its approximately 226th-month aniversary, causing ATT to erupt in flames and chaos.

THREAD: "[BWVC] Beast Wars Part I"
Woo hoo! Dinobot discussion! The Beast Wars Viewing Club gets off to a fun start with reviews of the pilot episode.
THREAD: "(OT) 30 Reasons Why it's Great to be a Man"
*sigh* Y'know, I remember when flame wars at least had some sort of *point* behind them.

NEWS: BotCon confirmation stuff sent out. Yippee!!
Steve-o, who is #6, writes:
On Tue, 9 Jul 2002 14:28:23 -0500, David Willis wrote:
> I'm #5. >:)

Walky, now you must die. Because 3H assigned you a meaningless number
fifteen seconds before me, my self-worth is completely shot and I will
live my remaining days as a spiritless husk. The only way to regain my
dignity is to destroy you utterly. Please understand that this is not
personal -- all else being equal, I'd prefer to dismember a stranger than
you, but I am left with no other option. Please report to Ohio
immediately for your doom. If anyone else with a number lower than mine
would like to step forward as well, I would very much appreciate it.

[paging Phil Zeman...]
NEWS: Armada Wave 1 Deluxes and Mini-Cons start showing up in Wal*Marts across the country. Hoorah!
THREAD: "Was the U.S. G1 cartoon anime?"/"Romita, Romita, Romita"
Challenging the conventional wisdom of who designed the original animation models for G1.
THREAD: "Armada The Beginning of the end?"
d00d aRm@d@ wIlL KiLl tr@nZfOrM3rZ

THREAD: "[JTF][HOAX!] More "USA Edition" goodness... (badness?)"
Heh. These things are funny. Kristo writes:
Function: Cybertron Loyal Retainer

An older model of Transformer. Asked by the Emperor to protect his son
Stormjet on planet Earth. Hobbles into battle with the declaration, "Young
master, please leave this to me!"

THREAD: "[Poll] Least wanted alt-mode"
Jackpot, Desparado, Jackpot, Mark Brown, and Desparado wrote:
>> >>Nah, I think Requiem Blaster is a coffin Mini-Con who also turns into a
>> >>boom-box. Partnered with a hearse TF, of course.
>> > Now THAT'S a killer joke. :)
>> - Jackpot (You slay me. BWAHA! Ah, me. Really, great deadpan
>> delivery. If you did a live show, you'd knock 'em dead.)
>I don't know. I thought he was kinda in danger of dying on stage.

Oh, come on. Now, you're just trying to kill comedy.

Walky says:
The Land Military Team is GREAT. Sure, hooking up a scooter, a skateboard,
and a bicycle to Demolishor is good for a laugh, but these guys are heavy
artillery. Demolishor is become a machine of DEATH BY MANY POINTY
THREAD: "Return of a lost soul......."
Starshadow is a woman, Sky Shadow is a man, and Skystalker is, oddly enough, a car.

Jackpot writes:
Sky Shadow wrote:
> Terribly sorry you can't have my babies, Jack. (Not that you could
> have had Rob Powers' babies either. Or Mery's and Bobbi's for that
> matter. Unless that Schwarzenegger film was actually a
> documentary...)

Little do you know, I am blessed with a complete set of both male and
female primary and secondary sexual organs, as well as a strange tertiary
set that science has yet to decipher. I can even have my *own* babies.
But they're not nearly as tasty.


From Zob:
Synch wrote:
>>>LOL its been known for a while now what at least 1 of the botcon
>>>toys will be
>>Uh, I wasn't disputing that. You should've paid a little more attention
>>and read it more closely before laughing...
>lol I was laughing?

This is so precious that I'm uncertain how to savor it.

Perhaps with a quiet chuckle?

Very well, then. I shall now chuckle.

Heh heh heh heh.
And from Hooks:

Okay. Instead of replying to this inane post with something witty and
brilliant, I think I'll just play with some toys. It will make me feel less

*presses button*



[and... UGH. It is because of individuals like this one that I am no longer able to use that expression to legitimately and quickly state that something on IRC has in fact caused me to really, truly, actually and physically laugh out loud. Grrrrr.]

From Zob:
Note: Kay-Bee Toys charges far too much for their toys, much in the same
way that KB Toys used to. I am beginning to strongly suspect that they
are, in fact, the same store.

From: "Coltrane's Lamentation"

Subject: Re: [ARM] Demolishor once an Autobot!
Date: Fri, 19 Jul 2002 00:05:28 GMT

"TJMD" wrote in message
> Actually, I think Prime sent them in as spies. I mean, look at
> Demolisher, he screams "I'm here to spy on yo bitch ass!"

Now *that's* what we need for someone's tech spec quote!

From Sky Shadow's .sig file:
"Sky Shadow is made out of such a durable, thickly molded plastic that I
have no compunctions about picking him up by the tail and slamming him
repeatedly against a tabletop."

Avias; the 2001 Trannies.

BotCon 2002 is over, finished! Reports begin filtering in with news of a fan club, remolded Hot Shot faces, hotel exclusive toys, the first episode of Armada, petulant and insane voice actors, and much more.

THREAD: "Hasbro's "Final Fantasy" TF Approach."
96 posts and growing fast.

From Zob:
ViceGripX wrote:
>All hail Megatron!
You mean Galvatron! (Well, they were the same toy...)

August 2002: Armada's Hot Shot makes the following announcement: "I LIK jaAm!!", causing ATT to erupt in flames and chaos.

From Zob, G1 straight man:
"Grimlock" wrote:
>If at all possible can someone tape todays broadcast of the "A-team"
>on TNN?

I tried to tape it for you, but I only got one-third of the episode. Basso
Profundo and somebody else have the rest.

From "Coltrane's Lamentation":
"Zobovor" wrote:
>The only Armada toy I own right now is Perceptor, and I'm not
> really impressed with it.

Dude, no matter how hard you try, he's not going to turn into a

THREAD: "rant: mini-con symbol and other things"
THREAD: "Repaints already???? EEEKS!!!"

From Walky, reviewing Wreckers #2:
But, dude. That last quote. I managed to figger out what it said,
("...In Conquoring Time Itself!") but ... heh. #wiigii! had fun
reading through the last line loudly at BotCon, and suddenly stammering
in unintelligible baby-talk at the end. "I have taken my
first triumphant step... BLE BLAH BLE BLUH BUGHGL GBUBH!"

THREAD: " Is this a German/Nazi thing? (was: [BOTCON] Steve-o's BotCon 2002"
Some excellent speculation on the nature, origin, and writer's intent for the aliens from Beast Wars.

From Jackpot:
No, he's right. I'm mostly German by descent, and I use pseudo-scientific
rationales for eliminating anyone I dislike. Such as, "I needed to shoot
that guy because he was exhaling too much carbon dioxide," or, "That car I
sideswiped over a cliff was emitting engine vibrations at just the right
frequency to awaken Mothra."
From Derik Smith:
Mankind needs to develop an Intercultural Interaction
Protocol that waives any illusion of mutual harmony or understanding and
operates on language of the most basic, blunt and unsubtle kind.
Fortunately- such a language already exists, it's called German. A
language so straightforward that 'fuck' shares the same verb-root as 'to

THREAD: "Suncoast Insider Tip"
Are Headmasters, etc, coming to DVD in the US?
From Walky:
> > Eeee. Singapore-dubs are the only way I'd ever watch the episodes
> Shame, Walky. "Singapore dubs" is inaccurate.

Oh yeah?! Well, my Brontosaurus is going to eat you.

THREAD: "Gregatron's Definition of "Canon" "
What's canon, what's official, what's a mythos, what counts and what doesn't?
From Zob, quoting Steve-o:
>composed this post, though, I'll release it upon Usenet, and maybe part
>of it will rile you up so we can have something to talk about.

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? There you go again, trying to ruffle my
feathers just to satisfy your insane desire for more discussion fodder! Well,
I won't play your game this time, mister. I *refuse* to get pissed off at you!
See how you like them apples, eh?

Zobovor... not really sure what I just accomplished there, but at least I
sounded nice and assertive about it.

THREAD: "[ART] Bigass Mugshots Landslide begins... "
Sipher digs deep into the mines of obscurity...
From Derik Smith, replying to M Sipher:
>There's a color pic of him
>in one of the Comic Bom Bom magazines I got... suppose I could scan him...

Sorry, just that I haven't been able to find a good pic of either Star Upper or Slowpoke/Escargon ANYWHERE, color or lineart. I'm kinda curious about these fellows... Not that I'm trying to pressure you into scanning the
animation models or color pics or anything. Because I'm not.


300 PPI scans scaled to 900 pixels high tends to produce a nice, crisp
animation model scan, in my experience.

*I'd* be smacking me at around this point, so you know.

From Derik Smith:
I personally believe children's toys should be made as dangerous as
possible to cut those with poor survival skills out of the gene pool.
If this trend of 'toy safety' continues, in 30 years China will be able to
just airdrop bootleg Optimi with long smokestacks on us and watch as we all
poke our eyes out and choke on small pieces, having no built-up immunity to
Damn chinese. Why can't we be like the Japanese and have sharp fragments
of Fortress Maximus in our breakfast cereal? "Hey kids, collect them all and
build your own!"

From Snufalufamus Prime, on G1 Jetfire:
So I'm reading the directions and what do I see? Snap this, unsnap
that. SNAP!?! This is not a word I want to hear in referance to a toy that
feels both heavy and flimsy at the same time. I want to see lift, fold,
maybe even twist, but not snap!

8/21/02 -- a week of guns and smoke stacks.

THREAD: "RANT: 'safety' smoke stacks"
THREAD: "Next Takara reissues: Smokescreen and MEGATRON?!?"
Boy, I sure do hate Hasbro. Why can't they just ignore United States laws to make me happy? They're so selfish.
From: (Chris "Marv")
I still believe that there is a way to reissue him in the US with
keeping him in his original colors. I just think Hasbro hasn't really
looked at every available option to them. Maybe if they would "STOP"
trying to market him as a child's toy for one would be a start. Just
maybe then they could get past the stupid child safety law.

[Gosh, I bet Hasbro NEVER thought of this one. ]

From Walky:
God dammit! Why can't Hasbro BEND THE LAWS OF TIME AND
SPACE so we can have Megatron? Dude, they're stupid and lazy!
Hasbro hates the fans! They don't listen to us!

From: (Axis Dragoon)
"Hitman Pez" wrote:
>I don't care about Megatron being reissued, I want Galvatron. Since I never
>had the toy and they have already reissued two characters from the third
>season could they reissue a Galvatron? Would there be problems with it
>looking too much like a gun?

Looks more like a real food processor.

From M Sipher:
"Patrick I aka PDiddy" wrote...
> heres my idea on how to re release G1 Megs, instead of orange, how about a

How about you drop it?


M "What In The Holy Hell Does It TAKE To Get Through To Some People?!"
Zob replies:
Have you tried holding a fluorescent-tipped orange gun to their heads?

From Eric Harding, quoting Zob, re: G2 Hero Megatron:
>Zobovor, always stuck the missiles inside the flaps on his arms and pretended
>they were dual fusion cannons...

You have flaps inside of your arms that can hold missiles designed for toys?
Don't know whether to be impressed or not...

THREAD: "OF COURSE Hasbro can reissue Megatron..."
Paul Segal says, quoting Zob:
>How many times are people going to try to justify their arguments with this
>weak excuse? BARNEY IS NOT A REALISTIC DINOSAUR. If Megatron were all goofy
>and cartoony and Sesame Streety, there would be no problem. Realistic
>dinosaur toys are dangerous. End of discussion.

If dinosaurs were outlawed, only outlaws would have dinosaurs. And what
incredible outlaws they would be!
From Brian Kilby:
It's been staring us in the face for so long I almost feel stupid for not
seeing it before! The whole issue over this is that you cannot sell
realistic gun replicas in the United States, right? Why not modify the
toy so that it's a WORKING gun!?
And from Tom W:
Better than my idea - the whole problem is that it looks like a real gun,
right? So the trick is to make it look unrealistic - simple... stick
Prime-size smokestacks on it!! Obviously the police wouldn't be able to see
them if they're shortened, so they'd have to be full size...

Jackpot paraphrases BW Megatron: "I AM canon."
Open your Dreamwave 2002 Preview comic to the "War Within" story. Don't
have one? Pity. Because if you did, you'd be reeling from the acrid
stench of MY coloring. That's right - I'm a Dreamwave employee. So are
you saying that a drawing by an official DW artist is anything less than
pure, exalted canon? Pshaw! Next you'll be denying the eternal struggle
betwixt pirate and ninja. Turn out the lights when you decide to leave
the 16th century, Mr. Brahe.

September 2002:
The Armada cartoon's first three episodes air, causing ATT to erupt in *justified* flames and chaos. Mass hysteria, forty days of darkness, Silverbolts and Cheetors living together....

THREAD: "We ALL Scream For Starscream (Don't Deny It)"
Well, I'd call it more of a horrified shriek, in my case. Great MINGINM/MIGIM discussion!

THREAD: "...isn't it time to redux the original toys?"
From Walky, quoting Jackpot:
> > Hasbro recently applied for Swoop as a trademark. The
> > only Dinobot name they don't have right now is "Slag."
> Is it that they just haven't applied yet, or is "Slag" actually being used
> by another company?

I don't think anyone owns Slag. At least not by another toy company. So
they just haven't applied for whatever reason. (Yeah, I hear Starbucks is
really wanting to invest in "Slag Coffee"...)

October 2002: The War Within issue #1 hits comic stores, causing ATT to erupt in smiles and happiness.

THREAD: "BM Rattrap isn't Rattrap, stupid"
From Finback:
zaku2ms06@aol.combtsoom (Zaku II) wrote in
> Am I the only one that got the joke? People need to just lighten the
> flock up.

Can we push some sheep over the edge of the cliff?! :D

From Sky Shadow, on Cliffjumper:
Although perhaps it would have been a nice touch of irony if, no longer able
to cope with the fact that nobody remembered his name, Blow-Out had jumped
off a cliff in order to end it all.

THREAD: "These terrible name mistakes are intolerable."
Joke getting old?

From: "Grue"
What really burns my ass is that they've been calling the blue Decepticon
mini cassette "Rumble" for the ENTIRE RUN of G1, and when they did finally
show the red one...of course they called him "Frenzy".

You know what else burns my ass?

A fire about three feet high.

THREAD: "Zob's Thoughts on Armada"
Zob sums up what, sadly, a fair number of us are likely feeling right now.

From David H.:
It's the exact
OPPOSITE of normal--you watch the show, are endeared to a character, and want
his toy. Here, the show turns you away from a toy. We all love Sky-Byte.
After the first few eps, we NEEDED Sky-Byte.

From: "God Mazinger"
"Sky Shadow" wrote in message

> Speaking of names, and appreciating the fact that I haven't actually seen
> it, what *does* "Armada" mean, in the context of the show?

me thinks it's the multitudes of minicons scattered on earth


the growing army of disgruntled transformer fans waiting to storm into the
show producers' studio heh heh

From: "Avarran" , in the "Probably Funny Only If You've Actually Heard It" department:
Watching the new He-Man cartoon gives me a sinking
feeling in my stomach about Armada...because in that
cartoon, things happen ALL THE TIME! In Armada,
you cheer if *something* happens, just so you can
justify watching it. Armada has also beaten out the
dubbed Headmaster eps "Darnit!" with "Huh?" in the
most-gratitiously-used-word-ever stakes.

THREAD: "ZacWilliam's TF:WWI #1 Review"
Wheee! Something meaty for starving Transfans to sink their teeth into!
From Ethan Hammond:
Chris R Leazer wrote:
> One last question about DW promo ads. On the Upcoming In November
> page, it shows the TF G1 TPB. Is that the actual cover? If so, why does
> it prominently feature an Autobot that hasn't even appeared once
> in the limited series? I can't imagine that he'll show up at the end of #6
> and heroically save the day. That's strange.

Because Cosmos is fantastical. He sells comics in the same way that
girls in skimpy outfits sell videogames.


From DVD:
Dave Van Domelen, thinks Smokescreen's quote should be "THIS IS MY BOOM
STICK!" Since, y'know, it's a boom. And goes boo...oh, never mind.

THREAD: "The awful, awful things peer pressure can bring about."
From Snufalufamus Prime, quoting Sky Shadow:
> *The Resurrected Billy Against the Decepticons*
> The Autobots decide to rebuild Billy whilst the Decepticons make the same
> choice with Soundwave. But when New Soundwave and Blaster (formerly Billy)
> meet again, who will be victorious this time?
The Startv dubs. If mankind has accomplished even one thing greater, I've
never heard of it.

Here's something you don't see every day:

From: "Paul Cannon"
Subject: Re: Alignment and Omega Point Scans?

That was a big mistake! has messed up any chances for the US or anyone
outside Britain to obtain further Transforce exclusives. you have been reported for aiding this person in
their breach of Transforce's trust.

If you knew how much time and money went into the Alignment project only to
have it posted on the net for all those lazy idiots who didn't pre-register
for Transforce this year. That has done it! Transforce had planned a special
event for Christmas on the website, but you can forget that!!! If you only
knew what I had planned for next year, forget it!

My thanks to all of you who did support Transforce and have the exclusives.
I'm only sorry you have to miss out in the future because of these morons.

From Walky, on, but too good to resist:
Megatron: "And now, Optimus Prime... COME TO ME!"
*Megatron blinks*
Megatron: "I said, COME TO ME!"
Ravage: "Um. We're in some sewer. He can't hear you
from here."

THREAD: "Hard Hero vs. 3H"
THREAD: "1H Productions?" / "Glen's Response to the Hubbub"
THREAD: "3H split: Kitty Litter"
BotCon fires itself!.... or not. And where are those Unicron statues? 3H vs. HH in a tale of intrigue and shipping costs!
From Susp:
And since it's been confirmed as crap by 3H, I see no point in discussing it
any further. It's garbage that's been taken to the dump.


"Grimlock laugh at little wimp who make big trouble!"

From Snufalufamus Prime:
I said:
> > << Anyway, once the we get the
> >>Republic of Transfania going, I call treasurer.

TiJJy chimed in with:
> > I call head of Military.

Irrellius Spam let 'em know:
> > I call leader of the shadow gvernment organization that controls all the
> > governmental leaders like they are puppets....

Mery told the people:
> I call boss-manipulating second-in-command of said shadow
> government organziation that controls all the governmental
> leaders like puppets.

I laugh at all of your petty ambitions and shadow governemtns. The real
power lies in the number shuffling that covers up the funding for all of
your little military and covert operations. You'll all see who's really in
charge when there's no money left for your Freemason-like villainy when I've
squandered all the country's money on private Lou Reed concerts and Vanilla
Coke. I can't get enough of that stuff; it's like cream soda, only without
the built in dirty joke.

And also:
THREAD: "Another 3H Rumor"
From: "Neale Davidson"

Well, I'm going to give out a tidbit that I've heard from a source that /I/
trust. It could be wrong, and I'll grant that caveat... but -

The announcement that's apparently forthcoming on Monday, 21 October, is
that Hasbro will be taking control of the convention with Glen Halit as the
'point man'. Jon and Karl will move on the the fan-club. The main reason for
this move is financial. 3H is no longer able to financially keep up with the
increasing costs of running BotCon.

This isn't yet fully substantiated. I'm trying to secure more information.
As soon as, and if, I get more information. I'll post it.

THREAD: "[BOTCON]: 'Til All Are One...:("
It is the end... the END for the proud organization known as 3H, the END for its 3 mechanoid-loving inhabitants... save one!
From Star Saber:
Anyone who hasn't checked tonight should go head over there
and check out the following link:
Jon Hartman replies:
Sorry, folks, but it's all true as posted. Karl and I will see you next
July in Chicago.

Jon Hartman
3H Enter... sorry, old habit
From Sipher, quoting Star Saber:
> Jon and Karl, thanks for everything you've done. Thank you for eight great
> years. Thank you for having the "spark" to make your dreams reality and
> thank you for some wonderful times. I'm sorry. I know this isn't the end of
> BotCon and that you'll still be around but - like I said above - it just
> won't feel the same. It was your vision that made it all possible and I'll
> never forget that.

Yeah. You guys, and all those who have helped BC in the past, and those who
will help BC in the future, have given the fandom possibly the best thing

M "What More Can Be Said?" Sipher

From the "Zob Must DIE" Department:
THREAD: "Bad Cybertronian Animal Puns"
Zob sez:
Me, I always thought it was a way of differentiating Cybertronic terms and
expressions from Earth ones. A cheesy way of doing so, admittedly. They don't
have pussycats on Cybertron; they have *photovoltaic* pussycats. All you have
to do is tack on some technical-sounding prefix or suffix and suddenly you have
something very wild and alien-sounding. They don't use guinea pigs for
experiments; they use guinea *pigatrons.* (Why, yes, of course there's a place
on Cybertron called Guinea. That's where Bumblebee and Cliffjumper came from,
originally. That's why they're called the Guinea-Autobots.)

THREAD: "[Random] Word of Advice"
From Zob:
Neale Davidson wrote:

>I do /strive/ for a certain level of decency.
>Fortunately, there are others around here that don't. ;)

I know an invitation when I see one. :)

Not many people know that the Diaclone version of Scattershot had a total of
five different transformations. There's his robot mode and jet mode, of
course, and Computron mode and his gun emplacement mode. What Hasbro left out
of the U.S. instructions was his battering ram mode, which is formed from robot
mode by flipping the jet nose down, rotating his waist 180 degrees, and
flipping the jet nose back up. Press the sensitive silver button on the
underside of his battering tool to activate his spring-powered gimmick. Wait
at least half an hour and repeat.

THREAD: "Which Transformers would do what on the internet?"
From: (Galenraff):

-Unicron would eat up all the bandwidth.

-Brawn would keep leaving the group permanently, but would come back every few
months before leaving "permanently" again.

-BW Megatron would alter posts from a few years ago, to change the outcome of
flame wars so that Raksha would be the main force on ATT.

November 2002: Hasbro unleashes THE CONTAINER, causing ATT to erupt in gales of laughter.

THREAD: "Life begins at 4,000,000...?"
Why so many zeroes?

From Tom Walsh:
[T]he solution I came
up with to fit in that, and Beast Wars, is: the magic of Transwarp :) It's
possible for them to have crashed on Earth long before they ever left
Cybertron...Maybe they got caught up in the same temporal anomaly that
sucked Depth Charge in in BW? Even I don't want to try and untangle the
paradoxes wrapped up in that :)
From Galenraff:
But that's all like trying to fit a square peg into a chicken-shaped hole.
There just isn't really any underlying, deeply important reason that they
*must* crash on Earth 4 million years ago. It really doesn't ever bear on the
basis of the story. It's a footnote.

It's also part of why I like Transformers. There isn't really any need for it,
and sure, it's handled poorly a lot, but it's another little thing in the
mythos that makes it seem big, makes it interesting. It's got it's own little
quirky charm to it somehow.

THREAD: "Racial Paradigms in Transformers"
The racism of G1 (?) vs. lack of it in RiD.
From Thy:
> Nonsense. They spoke with Japanese-English accents

They spoke with Japanese-English accents about their obsession with
money and weird mystic fortune-telling while doing karate as white
Nippon cranes flew by in the background.

It's typical ham-handed '80s tokenism. *I* don't find it offensive,
but then again, I'm not offended by the Frito Bandito either--in both
cases, however, I recognize what I'm looking at.

Tuesday, November 5th, 2002
THREAD: "This Election Day, support the NEW LEADER Party!"
From Thy:

My fellow Cybertronians....

It's time for a change. It's time for action, not words.

*I* should be in sole command of everything.

Time makes all things possible.... I can wait.

I realize that if I am elected, there will always be someone waiting
to impeach me. Let them try. I've waited a long time for this, and
my time is NOW.

Some point to the long career of our "leader", Megatron. Well,
MEGATRON IS NO MORE! He has become one with oblivion, he has fallen,
and he's blown his vocal components.... all of which make ME the
obvious candidate to be your new leader!

So now that Megatron has... how shall we say... "debated"... I
nominate myself as the candidate for the NEW LEADER PARTY!!!

This Election Day, vote for the New Leader Party.... and make me,
Starscream, the new leader! Vote for me, and one day *you* shall be my
second-in-command! Rest assured, as your new leader I--

THREAD: "Undergound news (Spoilers)"
Armada continues to underwhelm!
From Jackpot:
But I've had pause to wonder... Mini-Cons don't bond to only Autobots
and Decepticons, if the kids/SAT relationship is any evidence. So what
would happen if a Mini-Con activated another Mini-Con? Would a slave-
caste system develop among the already-enslaved? Grindor, for one, is
even equipped with a male Powerlinx Point. But what would one MC tell
another MC to do? They don't seem to desire much. Maybe the dominant
MC would pass on all his orders from his own superior. In that case,
could the primary TF issue those orders directly to the second-tier MC,
or would that be verboten under a complex system of etiquette and taboo?
This would get increasingly complicated if, say, the "parent" TF already
had multiple MCs, a la Cyclonus, Crumplezone, and Drill Bit. Would the
first-tier MCs share authority over second-tier MCs, or would it follow
a strict branching hierarchy based on individual bondage?

Man, this is a great show.

- Jackpot (The one in my head, I mean.)

THREAD: "Albertson's carrying bootlegs"
From Zob:
"Hardhead" wrote:
>At least in Portland, OR. Saw the Combaticons, Aerialbots, and the
>Stunticon/Technobot combo. $4.99

Albertson's, as in the grocery store? We actually have those around here.

Zobovor... naturally, Portland, OR would be the first place to get 'em. They
always get Transformers first, the lucky saps.

Like a ninja in the night, Alpha Omega trolls silently and unseen. Except ninjas are totally sweet, and Alpha Omega is not.
From Sky Shadow:
I've never actually used the site at all, although do enjoy the monthly
routine of going there every month for two years to check if
Transformers:Zone is available for download, since for two entire years it
has stated that "TRANSFORMERS: ZONE Returns Soon!"
From Snufalufamus Prime:
Sky, you really don't want to see Zone. It's got a flying alien bunny thing
in it, and no matter how cool some of the action in it may be, that's wrong.

THREAD: " [ARM] Aaron Archer wasn't just whistlin' Dixie..."
Armada Unicron?!
From Derik Smith:

*scratches head*


Well, this does explain Prime's in-chest Matrix.

Oooh, I wonder how he'll be defeated! Maybe a really big stick! Or
maybe- Prime will unleast the Matrix! (Big Convoy at least has the creaticity
to load the matrix into his gun and SHOOT Unicron with it...)
Walky replies:
UNLEAST WARS! (We're back!)

THREAD: " [FANART] Carnivac & ... Dreamwave-style!"
From Chris Leazer, replying to Derik Smith's righteously awesome pic of everyone's favorite Pretender except maybe for Bludgeon and Thunderwing, Carnivac!

That's brilliant!

You made my eyes happy!

However, it seemed a little out of proportion.
The shins were a bit too big.

And the writing was full of cliche's.
I feel like I've read this before.

Also, the art doesn't really flow with the story.
Sometimes, its kind of tough to figure out exactly
what is happening.

The splash pages aren't used properly either.
They need to have more action, not posing.

I didn't really understand where the gun came from.

Is it just some sort of magical invention?

Should it really take just one shot? Really?
After all that buildup, it ends after one shot?
What a dissappointing end to a battle.

The Autobot symbol looked like it was added in as an afterthought.
I wish it would have been drawn with the original artwork.

What was the deal with the white bands on the forehead.
I don't remember that from Season 1.

And I noticed Windcharger was missing.

Oh well, I enjoyed it anyway.
I seem to enjoy most anything with
the name Transformers on it.

At least it had nice artwork.

THREAD: "Armada Unicron!!!!"
Ah, a more predictable reaction. Will it be BWNeo Unicron? And a good discussion of the molding and tooling process that gives us our beloved hunks of plastic.
From Paul Segal:
Anthony Wilmoth wrote:
>I just pray that this Unicron is not a big monster truck or freakin'
>transformable refrigerator.

Oh. My. God.

An 18" tall refrigerator. That transforms into a robot. That opens up in
refrigerator mode, both the main section and freezer, and the vegetable
drawers... With a power cord that turns into a whip thingy for the robot. And a
light up gimmick inside.

And Minicons that transform into freakin' FOOD! An egg, a stick of butter, a
can of soda.

That is one of the few possibilities for Armada Unicron that I wouldn't even
have to think about before spending $60 on it.

It could even tie in with other toys, like a deluxe milk carton, or a deluxe
ice cube tray with ICE CUBE MINICONS!

From Derik Smith:
It's likely an artifact of the script translator not seeing the episode.
The original line was probably something like 'Swindle will [help] take care of
that.' Which the translator rendered as 'let's send Swindle.' Since the next
line of DIALOG has Starscream just shouting to combine, there's no way, working
just from script, that the translator could know Swindle was not, in fact,
being sent off on his own and then joined by Starscream as things get hairy.
Of course, this is what EDITORS are for.

Look, much as we bitch about fucked up names- it's understandable. It's
HARD to keep a bazillion names straight in a dub. (Though, Saban certainly
managed, except for Landfill, which was unclear in the animation.) That
But the dialog... glaringly clashing with the action? Fuck the Itchy and
Scratchy fanboy jokes- someone has a JOB to catch that kind of shit. They're
not doing it. Why are they continuing to be paid?

We get scripts that are basically transliterated, with the names
(sometimes) swapped for their US equivalents, mostly correctly. That's... it.
There is NO effort in this dub. No editorship, no dialog rewritten to better
fit an English ear. No one going through and removing references that only
make sense to Japanese culture and inserting US ones. I don't expect the voice
actors to catch that they're calling Hot Shot Hot Rod- they do like 30
different anime series each. There's someone whose supposed to do that FOR
This sucks. Really, it does. It's not without some redeeming aspects,
but it SUCKS. The animation sucks. The story is developing, but looks to be
blandly unremarkable anime pap, that's what Takara DOES. But this voice
production... you understand... it could... make the show NOT suck. Instead
it's making it WORSE.

I don't even demand mediocrity. I'm a fan. I just don't want it to suck.

From RoarV2:
Steve-o wrote, quoting Pyre:
>> Embedded sound files are the tools of the devil.
>> [snip]
>Me too.

You're also a tool of the devil?

NEWS: Armada Scavenger and the Space Minicons (sounds like a band, eh?) start hitting US stores; Urban Camo Combaticons are on the way; BW Neo Dinobot to be re-re-released in the US as Armada Dinobots or something like that. Oh joy.

December 2002: I spend 18 hours a day at school, and you expect me to keep track of the latest random stupid thing that has caused ATT to erupt in flames and chaos? Never mind, that was probably it right there.

THREAD: "Hasbro needs fan input on 20th Annivasary exclusive Transformer toy mold.(Hasbro Read)"

NEWS: Not-Armada Dinobots will include the Bazooka and Sling molds! Yay!

THREAD: "Aarmada Unicron toy mean a cartoon appearance?"
From Aaron Borque:
Someone whose post I missed said:

>> I hope it will be a very special episode.

Next week, on a very special episode of Armada: Hot Shot
develops a drinking problem, which endangers his friends and
family in the upcoming battle with the dark god Unicron. Special Guest Star:
Mayim Bialik.

From Tom Walsh, on a G1 coloring book:
The art's mostly non-controversial, but Bumblebee's drawn with his toy
face with a mouth stuck on, which I find incredibly creepy for some
reason - there's a punch-out thing on the back cover to make a stand-up BB
figure, but I'm too scared, I don't want that thing staring at me all

Tom W.
Can't sleep...Bumblebee will eat me...Can't sleep...Bumblebee will eat me...

NEWS: War Within #3 hit stands.
From Derik Smith, in ZacWilliam's review thread:
I always wondered what a Theoritician was like in battle. Now I know.
Prowl is coordinating Defenses, Bumblebee is doign the guns, Jazz appears to be
commanding all the units in Prime's place... and Skids is micromanaging,
calling individual Transformers and custom-tailoring combat strategies for them
on the fly.
That's SCARY. I LOVE it. Go Skids.

From Sky Shadow:
"Grayfox [aka Hugo]" wrote:
> I took my cyclonus apart a couple weeks ago and when putting it together I
> ended up with that little washer in my hand and a working cyclonus in the
> other. So I threw out the washer.

I too took my Cyclonus apart a couple weeks ago and when putting it together
I ended up with a working washer in one hand and Cyclonus in the other. So
I threw out Cyclonus.


THREAD: "REPLY : Why Big Armada Prime needs an apology toy "
BATTLE IN THE PIT!!! 10 Primes enter, 1 Prime leaves!
From Walky:
Eh, I wouldn't put RiD Prime that high. He just... doesn't have the Prime
look down. He's more along the lines of LioConvoy/Big Convoy where he may
be *a* Prime but he's not *the* Prime. Armada Prime's got his Prime stuff
in order.

NEWS: First pix of Armada Sedan/Sideswipe/should-be-called-Punch/Walky-thinks-he's-Nightbeat.

THREAD: "Unicron comes to DW:G1 on-going?"
From Walky, quoting ZacWilliam:
> "October's Generation One ongoing debuts an all new storyline by Sarracini
>and Pat Lee that features the Transformers rallying to defend Earth against
> Unicron."

"Transformer fans will be able to read between the lines here and see that
this is THE story they've been waiting for for 20 years! When will the
Transformers face off against Unicron? What is the Matrix? Who is the
mysterious Galvatron? What is Unicron's secret? WILL PRIME DIE??"

> > "Transformer fans will be able to read between the lines here and see
> > this is THE story they've been waiting for for 20 years! When will the
> > Transformers face off against Unicron? What is the Matrix? Who is the
> > mysterious Galvatron? What is Unicron's secret? WILL PRIME DIE??"
> "Transformer fans will be able to read between the lines here and see that
> this is THE story they've been waiting for for 20 years! Who are the
> from the planet Cybertron? What is the mysterious Ark? And what DOES
> Prime transform into?"

"Transformer fans will be able to read between the lines here and see that
this is THE story that they've been waiting for for 20 years! Wasn't
Octamus Prime really cool? What was the name of that tape player guy with
the cool voice? Wasn't Sideswipe cool in the movie before he died? Man,
didn't it get all retarded after that? What the hell was up with that head
guy in space? Can you believe what kind of crap it is today? Why are they
all stupid beasts? It's all like Pokemon or something."

From Zob, on Armada Ruination:
ShadowWing wrote:
>They don't come separate? I may still get a separate Movor.
>Camouflage colors just don't look right on a space shuttle.

Of course they do! You know how you never see space shuttles sitting in
the grocery store parking lot? Well, there's a reason for that. They're all


January 2003: Hasbro announces plans to spend millions of dollars catering personally to every wish of every fan on the planet, causing ATT to spontaneously combust.
The end!

Destron's dad:" I ain't your real father."
Chicken in barn: " I am your real dad."

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