Rob's Pile of Transformers: Song Parodies

  • Pegful of Fuzors
    The Indian film industry meets Toys R Us.
  • The Retrax
    A Duran Duran song becomes an homage to the "I love you let me give you a hug" bug.
  • Waspythumping
    Not a parody, but an outline for a music video. Watch Waspinator get trashed to the tune of "Tubthumping".
  • Stray Raptor Strut
    Dinobot sings the Stray Cats.
  • Spiders' Dance
    Tarantulus sings Men Without Hats.
  • I Want My A.T.T.
    A parody of a well-known Dire Straits song.



    
    Okay, finally I've parodied something a bit more current.  Enjoy!
    
    Pegful of Fuzors
    music by Cornershop 
    ("Brimful of Asha")
    
    There's Fuzors
    Behind the stockroom shelves
    Behind employees from hell
    yeah they're no help
    They're the ones that keep our hopes alive
    Till they come out from the back room
    and say that the shelves are dry
    
    [Fuzor chorus:]
    Peg full of Fuzors at the Toys R Us
    Well there's a peg full of Fuzors at the Toys R Us
    Peg full of Fuzors at the Toys R Us
    Well there's a peg full of Fuzors at the Toys R Us
    
    I've seen them
    Taking up the shelf space and the ends of the aisles
    We don't care about no HasKen warnings
    'bout the promotion at the McDonalds
    and the delays in shipping
    
    [Fuzor chorus]
    
    [Transmetal chorus:]
    Everybody needs a Transmetal Megatron,
    Everybody needs Transmetals
    Everybody needs a Transmetal Megatron,
    Everybody needs Transmetals
    Mine's from the Toys R Us
    
    Rattrap and Waspy, Toys R Us
    Primal is ugly, Toys R Us
    Die cast construction, Toys R Us
    Ball sockets, Toys R Us
    Rampage isn't out and neither is Op Op
    The heavy boxes and the high price range
    It's all at the toy store, Toys R Us
    2 beasts in one, Toys R Us
    Good guy Fuzors, Toys R Us
    Predacon Fuzors, Toys R Us
    
    [Fuzors chorus]
    
    Seventy-seven thousand piece
    Boxed G1 set
    Everybody needs a Transmetal Megatron
    Mine's from the Kay*Bee Toys
    
    [Fuzor chorus]
    [Transmetal chorus]
    [fade out :]
    
    
    The Retrax music by Duran Duran ("The Reflex") They've gone too far this time Well I'll tell them why the bug is fine I tell you somebody's freaking out from his beast mode cause it looks like slime He'll crush that foe when he hugs it On gimpy legs he'll make his stand, ohhh-oh Rec.mod is no place for the flaming 'Cause Retrax is not that bad, ohhh-oh So why-y-y don't you buy it Try-y-y-y not to knock it Buy-y-y-y him don't mock it The Retrax is a lonely toy, he's waiting in the store The Retrax is in charge of keeping all of the pegs warm And watching over toys that won't sell because they're bizarre Every single time the Retrax sells the shop brings out a dozen more He's on the shelves and he wants to get off But fans won't plonk down the cash, I've found They'll sell the Retrax to Big Lots store I want to be around when he's marked down So why-y-y-y not buy Retrax O-o-o-only ten plus tax Gi-i-i-ives kids heart attacks Ohhh the Retrax, what a bug, he must have two dozen moving parts The Retrax is in charge of freaking children in the dark And giving everyone a big hug, isn't that bizarre Every single time that Retrax curls looks an awful lot like Unicron

    Waspythumping!

    The idea for this came from Kil aka Michael Kilborn McCarthy aka Wazzpin8or@aol.com, along with about half of the suggestions for clips. I've changed things around a bit to make it fit better with the actual length and correct lyrics of the song. If anyone out there with the proper equipment and a lot of patience wants to carry this little project out by creating the video described below, don't hesitate!

    The song, of course, is "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba. You might not recognize the title but the lyrics are probably familiar.

    [Waspy's head from "The Agenda" III drags itself by]
    [Spoken intro:]
    I thought that it really mattered
    I thought that music mattered

    ["Other Voices" I: Waspinator rises from the CR chamber, and cranks his head around the right way]
    We'll be singing, when we're winning
    We'll be singing

    ["Dark Designs": Waspy gets slugged by a flying weight]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    ["Spider's Game": A mouse tugs at Waspy's antennae as he sits with his head stuck in the ground]
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Aftermath": Waspy climbs out of the CR tank]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Coming of the Fuzors" II: Air Cheetor crashes into Waspy, sending him spiralling to the ground]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    ["Possession": Megatron slams Waspy's head back onto his body]
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Other Voices": Rattrap gives Waspinator a robo-noogie.]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Law of the Jungle": Waspy spins around in mid air while staring at Terrorsaur's signal beacon]
    Pissing the night away/pissing the night away

    ["Possession": Super-speed Waspy flies rings around the Maximals in their base]
    He drinks a whiskey drink/he drinks a vodka drink
    He drinks a lager drink/he drinks a cider drink

    ["Dark Designs": Waspinator bounces off the walls; Waspy spins in mad circles as he flies at the camera, drunkenly attacks the Maximals, gets shot down, slams into the floor]
    He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
    He sings the songs that remind him of the better times

    ["Before the Storm": Blackarachnia kicks Waspy's head into Tarantulus's lab. Must include his little "bbbbbht!" noise.]
    "Oh Danny boy, Danny boy
    Danny boy..."

    ["Coming of the Fuzors" II: Waspy gets torn apart by the security force field]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Coming of the Fuzors" II: Waspy parts get dropped down into the compactor and smashed into a cube]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Chain of Command": Waspy gets trashed by the Chain Gun o' Doom]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Double Jeopardy": Waspy gets trashed AGAIN by the Chain Gun o' Doom]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Coming of the Fuzors, Part 2": Waspy flies in front of Silverbolt to take command]
    Pissing the night away
    ["Maximal, No More": Waspy raises his hands in victory while standing over the fallen Dinobot and Silverbolt. ("Waspinator rulezzzzz!!"]
    Pissing the night away

    ["Spider's Game": Waspy's eyes pop as he realizes Airazor has caught his missiles]
    He drinks a whiskey drink/he drinks a vodka drink
    ["Before the Storm": Waspy's face falls as he realizes he's holding a big bomb]
    He drinks a lager drink/he drinks a cider drink

    ["Code of Hero": quick shot of Waspy's horrified face as Dinobot crashes into him]
    He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
    ["The Low Road": Waspinator falls out of the tree and bounces away in the final scene of the episode]
    He sings the songs that remind him of the better times

    ["Coming of the Fuzors" I: Cubified Waspinator "drag himSELF to CR chamber..."]
    "Don't cry for me
    Next door neighbour..."

    ["The Agenda" III: Waspinator gets knocked out of the sky by Blackarachnia's skiff; Waspy parts come falling from the sky]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Code of Hero": Dinobot stuffs Waspy in Rampage's gun barrel]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["The Trigger, Part 2": Waspinator and Terrorsaur are blasted out of the sky by the obelisk ("Pterodactyl idiot!!!")]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["Bad Spark": Shot down by Primal, Waspy crashes head first into the ground]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["The Trigger, Part 1": Waspy fires at Terrorsaur's missile which hadn't exploded to set it off]
    [over the chorus]
    We'll be singing, when we're winning
    ["The Agenda" I: Waspy fires at the Maximal autoguns, effieciently taking several of them out]
    We'll be singing

    ["Other Voices" I: Waspinator flies off, mumbling that "area is... secure now..."]
    I get knocked down, but I get up again
    No you're never gonna keep me down

    ["A Better Mousetrap": Waspinator buzzes in circles talking to himself; as the camera pulls back, we...]
    [fade out]


    
    Here's one for all you early 80s music fanatics.  "Stray Cat Strut"
    was one of the Stray Cats' more obscure hits (along with "Sexy + 17",
    their other song that deserves airplay and doesn't get it.) But hopefully
    SOMEONE out there knows it and will actually find this
    funny...
    
    Stray Raptor Strut
    
    [THE SCENE: a dimly lit, mostly-empty Cybertron bar, with a small stage
    tucked into one end.  Through a window, a broken neon sign reads "Sweet
    Little Hole-in-the-Wall". Optimus Primal (R) is behind the bar pouring
    energon drinks.  Waspinator is passed out on a bar stool, surrounded by
    empty energon cubes and buzzing in his sleep.  The rest of the Predacons
    sit in the back of the room, amid a pile of energon cubes, broken chairs,
    and various debris that indicates there's been a brawl recently.]
    
    [The Stray Max, a back-up band composed of Cheetor (R) on lead guitar,
    Rhinox (R) on bass and Rattrap (R) on drums, walk on stage amid sparse
    applause.  They start their set with a bluesy early 80s rockabilly hit]
    
    [Dinobot (B) walks on stage, a large pair of dark glasses perched on his
    snout.  He shakes his head in disgust at his surroundings, then goes up
    to the mike. He sings]
    
    Pink and brown raptor taking on the Preds
    Ain't got enough juice to bust their heads
    I'm out gunned but I don't care
    I fire eyebeams and blow them out of the the air
    
    Stray raptor, yeah I'm fightin' mad
    I'm a reptile Maximal, hey! Yeah that's sad
    Yeah, clone thrown at me by the mean old Preds
    If the rat don't shut up I'll bite off his head
    
    [Dinobot struts around the stage, then snaps his jaws at Rattrap]
    GrrrROWR!
    
    Yes, do not cross me, vermin!
    
    [Cheetor, also in shades, launches into a solo]
    
    I do not bother chasing MICE around
    I stalk through the forest
    Looking for a fight
    Huntin' Tigatron on a hot jungle night
    Stealing the disks while Megatron cries
    "Wow, Dinobot you're a treacherous guy"
    I used to be on his side for a while
    But I got kicked out
    for my warrior's style
    
    [Cheetor indulges in another long solo, till Rhinox clamps
    down on his strings with a look: knock it off!]
    
    I do not bother chasing VERMIN around
    I stalk round the planet
    Looking for a fight
    Trashing anyone who mentions that I changed sides
    Ruling the world while the Maximals fly
    Till Cheetor says 'hey we can't leave Dinobot behind'
    This Maximal sentiment's driving me wild
    Cause I got Pred honor
    And I got Pred style.
    
    GRRRAAWWR!!
    [as the song winds down, Dinobot snarls at the camera.  His jaws close
    down over it on the final guitar note and we fade to black. :]
    
    --
    Robert Powers, formerly of the Ever-Changing .sig
    repowers@mailexcite.com
    Still vowing to get my .sig back...
    

     
    
    Gak.  Here's another one.  Less obscure this time.  The original is Men
    Without Hats, "Safety Dance".
    
    [The scene: the same bar as before.  This time it's full of teeny-bopping
    protoforms.  A cheesey band is playing early 1980s pop hits.  Tarantulus sings
    lead, directing most of the words at Blacharachnia, who is being forced to
    play keyboards, obviously against her will.]
    
    [Tarantulus]
    We can scheme if we want to, we can program pods we find
    Cause the Preds don't know and if they don't show
    Then I'll make another of our kind
    
    We can go where we want to,
    A stasis pod they'll never find
    And we can act out ways to get off of this world
    And leave the Beast Wars far behind
    And we can scheme
    
    [Blacharachnia]
    Or not...
    
    [Tarantulus]
    We can go where we want to
    Megs is smart but so am I
    And we can shoot real neat from machine gun feet
    And surprise 'em with an island that flies
    
    We can leave if we want to
    If we don't Megs will make me ill
    And you can act real cold and icily removed
    And tell Scorp that he's an imbecile
    
    I say,
    We can walk, we can drive, everyone's a Transmetal
    We can plot, we can scheme, every time a pod should fall
    We can run, we can hide, but everybody knows of my lab
    We can dine, we can feast, everybody's freaked by my laugh
    Spiders' dance... x3
    
    We can scheme if we want to, though Megs'll end your life and mine
    As long as you are livin', never gonna forget
    that I've a psychic link into your mind
    
    We can scheme if we want to, we can leave the Preds behind
    Cause the Preds don't scheme and if they don't scheme
    Then they're no allies of mine
    
    Say,
    The aliens, they have come, everything's out of control
    This planet, is surely doomed, they're wrecking it from pole to pole
    We can plot, we can scheme, we both got claws for hands
    We can plan, we can rule, everybody takin' the chance
    Spiders' dance... x12
    
    [As the song ends amid the audience's boos and jeers, Blacharachnia hoses the
    keyboards with machine gun fire and stalks off stage, while Tarantulus just
    laughs maniacally... :]
    
    
    I Want My A. T. T. music from "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits lyrics by Robert Powers ;) additional lyrics by Burt Ward (Beavis@cris.com) A glimpse at life here on our little newsgroup... I want my... I want my A.T.T. [repeat four times] Now look at them Transfans That's the way they do it They play a TF on 2K5 MUSH Aw, that ain't normal But that's the way we do it Trade our money for robots, get Beast Wars from Mc D's Now that ain't normal, But that's the way we do it lemme tell ya, Transfans are nuts Some'd trade a Blaster for their little finger Some'd trade Grand Maximus for their Mum We got to post those .gifs and .wav files Custom tech-spec re-writery We got to buy the UK comics We gotta watch the cartoons on TV The little Transfan with the BumbleJumper on card Yeah buddy, he's got Fort Max The little Transfan got his own Arcee kit The little TransFan got a Unicron We got to post those .gifs and .wav files Custom tech-spec re-writery We got to buy the UK comics We gotta watch the cartoons on TV I shoulda learned to play with 'em less hard I shoulda kept Fort Max in box Look at those auctions, they got Jetfire for two hundred, man he ain't even got his gun Now who's postin' here? What's that? The whole uncut movie? We're flamin' each other like spammers Oh that ain't fandom Here's the way you do it Postin' huge fanfics and toy I.D.s We gotta sing high praises of Furman Gotta cut down Bob Budinsky We got to get a complete Monstructor Gotta get a Japanese Nightbeat (spoken) Now look at them Go-bots That's the way they do it You lay the blame on the company Oh that ain't Sideswipe But that's what they call it Reissue Prime for nothin', and miscolor Frenzy (background vocals, spoken) Dreadwing for nothing if you go to KayBee No female TFs 'cept that chick Arcee Reviews of Beast Wars by everyone but me Alt toys transformers or maybe a. t. t. (backup vocals, sung) I want my I want my I want my a. t. t. That aiiiiiiiiiiin't normal! (guitar solo - fade)

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