Rob's Pile of Transformers: Cartoon Quotes

Originally compiled from by Naomi Novik. Organized by Robert Powers. Formatting suggested by Robert Jung.

All quotes are from the animated Transformers cartoon series, except as noted. Contributions are welcome and sought... this is far from a definative list of the show's memorable lines.

Basic Transformer stuff
"Look! Two more Transformers to add to our collection!"
   -- Starscream, "Starscream's Brigade"

"And awaaaaay we go!"
  -- Powerglide, numerous episodes

"Talk: excessive. Time: limited."
 -- Omega Supreme, "The God Gambit"

"There's not enough energy in these conductor rods to last a quartex!" 
 -- Wheeljack, "More Than Meets the Eye" I, the first line of 
     dialogue in the whole series

"These fools worship Transformers!"
   -- Astrotrain, reading a.t.t. ("The God Gambit")

"That television... it bewitched me!"
   -- Galvatron, "The Big Broadcast of 2006" (Galvy speaks for us all)

Noble, Righteous, and Profound
"Yuk! Noble Autobots make me wanna puke." -- Apeface, "The Rebirth" II

"I am Vector Sigma! Before Cybertron was... I was!"
   -- megacomputer Vector Sigma, "The Key to Vector Sigma" I

"Sometimes it is better to be known for one's enemies."
   -- Blitzwing steps out of character, "Five Faces of Darkness" V

"Not the fate I'd wish for, lad."
   -- Kup, The Movie

"I'm tired a' suckin' their vapor trail!"
   -- Ironhide about to take on the 'cons single-handed, "More Than
      Meets the Eye" II

Spike:     "You okay, Bumblebee?"
Bumblebee: "Outta gas... but not outta luck!"
   ("The Ultimate Doom" II)

"Spare me this mockery of justice!"
   -- Kranix, The Movie

Spike: "Well, meteorite or no, it's great not having to worry about the
        Decepticons for a change."
Prime: "I always worry about the Decepticons, Spike."
   ("War of the Dinobots")

Megatron: "Why throw away your life so recklessly?"
Optimus:  "That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron."
   (The Movie)

"...Then let the Earth burn!"
   -- Starscream, "The Revenge of Bruticus"

"Such heroic nonsense..."
   -- Megatron's final words to Ironhide, the Movie

Sandstorm: "It's time we fought for what we believe in --
                    our planet, our freedom, our lives!"
Robot:       "You know what our ancestors taught us, Sandstorm;
                    fighting only begets more fighting."
Sandstorm: "The Decepticons are using our energon to destroy!
                   Believe me, our ancestors would take up arms and *fight*!"
   ("Fight or Flee")

Air Raid:   "Why'd they make you Arielbot leader, Silverbolt? You 
                   got no sense of adventure."
Silverbolt: "Exactly."
   ("Forever is a Long Time Coming")

"The Matrix... yes. I've been keeping it warm for you."
   -- Rodimus Prime, "Dark Awakening"

"Once Decepticons nearly held the quadrant through terror. Now we scrap 
like slargs over a few energon cubes. Is this how you honor the memory of 
Galvatron? Is this the fate of the mighty Decepticon empire?"
   -- Cyclonus, "Five Faces of Darkness" I

"Until the day...till all are one..."
   -- Optimus Prime's (psuedo-) final words, The Movie

Hot Rod: "The wisdom of the ages... it's lost!"
Optimus: "No, not lost. We're all a little wiser now."
   ("The Return of Optimus Prime" II)

Spike: "Dad, it's like you taught me.  You never quit on the ones
         you love."
Brawn: "Mushy... but true."
   ("The Ultimate Doom" III)

"Bleh, you're making me sick, Autobot." 
   -- Razorclaw, "Nightmare Planet"

Gyarahh!! Things I Wish They Hadn't Said
"Me and my big woofer. Let's FLY!!"  -- Blaster, "Blaster Blues"

Galvatron: "A scrapyard! What an appropriate place for you to meet 
            your end, Rodimus."
Rodimus:   "You're the one that'll be junk, Galvatron!"
   ("The Big Broadcast of 2006")

[cheesy whistle] "This must be the junk capital of the universe."
    -- Daniel, the Movie

"Hey!  Just like Sherlock Holmes with floppy disks!"
    -- Spike, "Divide and Conquer"(?)
Rumble:    "Don't you Auto-bozos know, hanging out in Central Park..."
Frenzy:    "Can be hazardous..."
Soundwave: " your health?"
   ("City of Steel")

Megatron: "Any last words, Prime?"
Optimus:  "None that you'd wanna hear, Megatron."

"Into the ocean, let's be daring!  The last one in, is a rusty herring!" 
   -- Jazz, "The Ultimate Doom" I (a Wheelie wannabe?... If so, WHY??)

"Ears open!  Something's being spoken!"
   -- Blaster, "The Quintesson Journal"

"That's what I call going down to defeat from de feet!"
   -- Kickback, "A Plague of Insecticons"

"Watch how my anti-matter blaster eats up energy!"
   -- Megatron, "Enter the Nightbird"

Jazz:  [dumping snow on Spike]  "It's a a hurry!"
Spike: "Oh... thanks Jazz.... I get the DRIFT!"
   ("Fire in the Sky")

"One shall stand, one shall fall."  -- Op Prime, The Movie
("Couldn't we *both* fall?"  -- Megatron in Stanly Lui's TFTM parody)

Bumblebee: "How are we gonna get outta this?"
Spike:     "By the skin of our teeth!"
Bumblebee: "I didn't know human teeth HAD skin!"
   ("Transport to Oblivion")

"Gee, the Insecticons gave us a lot of trouble.  But I 
 guess... they bug Megatron even more!"
   -- Spike, "The Insecticon Syndrome"  

"Sideswipe's flare gun, should dry off your circuits... and 
 Bluestreak's bolts... will give you all an instant recharge!"
   -- Wheeljack, "S.O.S. Dinobots"
Blaster:            "That was... harmonic bliss!  A musical kiss!!"
Ultra Magnus: "Whatever." 
   ("Carnage in C Minor")

"Yo, Gears! Get with it! Put that slab in right, or we're gonna be here 
 till the Big Dipper gets rusty!"
   -- Huffer, "Countdown to Extinction"

"Well, well, Commander Modesty's here!"
   -- Springer on Sky Lynx, "Call of the Primatives"

"No Decepticon has the zip to zap me!"
   -- Powerglide, "The Master Builders"

"Sometimes even the wisest of men and machines can be in error."
   -- Optimus Prime, "S.O.S. Dinobots"

Megatron: "Never!  I am autonomic perfection!"
Spike:       "You'll be evaporated perfection if we don't get to 
                   Cybertron and stop Starscream!"
   ("The Revenge of Bruticus")

"I? Starscream? The pride of the Cybertronian War Academy? Never! Do
 you hear me? NEVER!"
   -- Starscream, "A Prime Problem"

"Nothin' to it if ya got pizazz!"
   -- Powerglide, "Dinobot Island"

"Look out, blue skies, here comes ol' Powerglide.  King of the cloud 
chasers, sultan of the stratosphere, ace of the air!"
 -- Powerglide, "The Master Builders"

"You must be hot stuff, pal.  Or you wouldn't be sharin' the sky with ol' Powerglide."
 -- Powerglide, "Dinobot Island" Part 1

"Face me, Trypticon, IF you have the guts!"
   -- Sky Lynx, "Call of the Primitives"

"Unless I'm wrong, which is of course extremely unlikely, we are being
 led to a very ancient and sacred place."
   -- Sky Lynx, "Call of the Primitives"

"Now, remember!  Before you do anything, ask yourself, 'Is this what
 Sky Lynx would do in my position?', and you will not go far from wrong."
   -- Sky Lynx, "Call of the Primitives"

"Face me, monster! You will rue the day you crossed Sky -- AACK!" 
   -- Sky Lynx gets his come-uppance, "Call of the Primatives"

"We've come to trade insults, not talk business!"
   -- Megatron (more or less :), "The Insection Syndrome"

"Why did Galvatron have you attack Cybertron all by yourself? Are you 
 obedient or just stupid?"
   -- Rodimus Prime to Astrotrain, "Ghost in the Machine"

Scourge:  "Have I got the wrong idea, or are these guys a bunch of wimps?"
Cyclonus: "Yes, they appear to be... wimps."
   ("Fight or Flee")

"Uhh...You WRONG. And you UGLY, too!"
   -- Grimlock to Megatron, "Dinobot Island" II

"Keep San Francisco clean... leave!"
   -- Tracks, "The Secret of Omega Supreme"

Megatron: "You don't frighten me, you mechanical throwbacks!"
Grimlock: "Good, Megatron. We LOVE stupid enemies!"
  ("Atlantis, Arise!")

Sweep X:    "There seems to be something wrong with Cyclonus's voice."
Sweep Y:    "Yes, he sounds like Starscream!"
Scourge:    "No need to be insulting."
Starscream: "...You will suffer for that!"
   ("Starscream's Ghost")

Grimlock: "Me Grimlock say you full of cesium salami."
Slag:         "Me Slag say you full of beryllium balogna."
Grimlock: "Cesium salami!"
Slag:         "Beryllium balogna!"
   (The Movie)

Wheeljack: "If it walks, it probably needs a very long extension cord!"
Ratchet:      "I wonder if batteries are included?"
    ("Enter the Nightbird")

"Dumb SWEEP!"  [kicks him!]
   -- Sludge, "Webworld"

"Bring me the weapon frame!... I hope that it is stronger than your customary resolve in battle!"
   -- Megatron to Starscream, "Fire on the Mountain"

Megatron: "Either you're lying, or you're stupid!"
Starscream: "I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
   ("Triple Takeover")

"Nice shootin'... if you was aimin' for the SKY!"
   -- Rumble, "S.O.S. Dinobots"

"I know this will be difficult for you, Bombshell, but THINK!"
   -- Megatron, "Traitor"

"If the Insecticons had brains they'd be dangerous!  Heh heh!"
  -- Megatron, "Quest for Survival"

"Scram, you little creep!"
   -- Blast Off, "Chaos"

...and stones...
"As long as he delivers, I don't care about his ego!"
  -- Rodimus Prime on Sky Lynx, "Call of the Primitives"

"If I want to know what's on your mind, I'll splatter it on the wall and see for myself!"
   -- Blitzwing, "Triple Takeover"

"Brains? Grimlock know how to BASH brains.  Maybe bash yours!"
   -- Grimlock, "Grimlock's New Brain"

"First we crack the shell, then we crack the nuts inside!"
   -- Rumble, the Movie

"Grimlock kick butt!" [proceeds to do exactly that]
   -- Grimlock attacking Unicron, The Movie

Native:  "We will be back, demons!  You will not live to see the dawn!"
Rodimus: "Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure."
   ("Face of the Nijika")

Brawl:     "Hey! We annihilated 'em."
Swindle: "Looks more to me like they vanished!...Wait. Look! More invaders!"
Vortex:    "Where did they come from?"
Brawl:      "Who cares? Let's annihilate 'um!"
    ("The Revenge of Bruticus")

Swindle:   "Megatron... I -- I couldn't find Brawl's personality 
                   component! I didn't think it would matter..."
Megatron: "You didn't think it would matter! Well think about THIS! 
                   The bomb still ticks. Bring back the personality component
                   in time, or disintegrate trying!"

"Listen, biological blob. Either tell me where the personality
 component is, or be the first man IN the moon!"
   -- Swindle, "B.O.T."

"Foolish man of flesh! If you interfere with us... you will be terminated!"
   -- Scrapper, "Heavy Metal War"

"Bruticus...angry. Bruticus... devastate... DEVASTATOR!" 
   -- Bruticus, "Starscream's Brigade"

Bumblebee: "A scanner at twelve o'clock, Prime."
Op Prime:   "Let's see if they can scan this!" [BLAM!]
   ("The Ultimate Doom" I)

Scrapper: "Autobots! Hold your fire!"
Hoist:      "And miss a chance to nail you? Never!" [PHOOSH!!]
   ("The Master Builders")

Omega Supreme: "Constructicons?!  Constructicons enemies.  Enemies, DIE!"
Optimus Prime:   "This is a military mission, not a vendetta, Omega."
Omega Supreme: "Results: same!"
   ("The Secret of Omega Supreme")

"Wait until the guards come. Then we'll dismantle 'em." 
   -- Razorclaw, "Nightmare Planet"

Sludge: "Sludge not see these Decepticons before!"
Snarl:    "Not see again, either!"
   ("Heavy Metal War")

Shockwave: "Prepare for termination."
Brawn (picking up a BIG metal beam): "Prepare for a very large headache!"
   ("The Ultimate Doom" III)

"NO ONE gets into MY cranial chamber... And now I'm going to STOMP you!"
   -- Megatron to Bombshell, "The Insecticon Syndrome"

Triggerhappy: "...If I have to wait any longer I'm gonna bust a gasket!"
Brainstorm:    "Why wait? I'll be happy to bust it for you, Triggerhappy!"
   ("The Rebirth" II)

"...Even withOUT our new weapon, I can fry your circuits extra crispy!"
   -- Thundercracker to Skyfire, "Fire on the Mountain"

Megatron:   "Wait -- I still function!"
Starscream: "Wanna bet?!"
   (The Movie)

Starscream: "Megatron? Is that you?"
Galvatron:  "Here's a hint." [KABLAM!!]
   (The Movie)

Optimus: "I don't want to hurt you, Rodimus."
Rodimus: "Don't worry, Optimus, you won't!"
   ("The Return of Optimus Prime" II)
"Oh, Scourge... Where are you, Scourge?... Scourrrrge?"
   -- Galvatron, "The Burden Hardest to Bear"

"I've got better things to do tonight than die!"
   -- Springer, The Movie

"Yeah!  When ya got it, USE it!"
   -- Ironhide, "The Ultimate Doom" II

"For a time I considered sparing your wretched planet... but
 now, you shall witness its dismemberment!"
    -- Unicron, The Movie

"Their defenses are broken - LET THE SLAUGHTER BEGIN!!"
    -- Megatron, The Movie

First Aid: "I don't believe in fighting. I'm a medic, not a warrior!"
Swindle:   "Then you'll DIE for your beliefs!"
   ("The Ultimate Weapon")

Optimus: "Rodimus! Innocent lives are at stake!" 
Rodimus: "NO ONE is innocent!"
   ("The Return of Optimus Prime" II)

Shockwave:  "I serve only Megatron!"
Starscream: "Then go back to Earth and DIE with Megatron!"
   ("The Revenge of Bruticus")

Headstrong: "I despise fleeing!" [skids to a halt] "I would rather die fighting!"
Razorclaw:  "He is right! Predacons... unite!"
[Predacons merge]
Predaking:  "TO THE END!!"
   ("Call of the Primatives")

"In a real fight, we'd've creamed 'em!... mm, maybe."
   -- Bluestreak, "War of the Dinobots"

"Not funny. Menasor not laugh!"
   -- Menasor, "Masquerade"

"We've got to get a new travel agent." 
   -- Hot Rod, on seeing his fate in the hands of the Quints, The Movie

Arcee:    "Did we have to detonate three-quarters of the ship?"
Springer: "Seeing as how the Decepticons would've detonated 
                 four-quarters, I think it was a pretty good choice!"
    (The Movie)

"Aw, hexagonal nuts."
   -- Trailbreaker, "Fire on the Mountain"

"I don't suppose I could interest you in a magazine subscription?"
   -- Brawn, surrounded by 'cons, "The Ultimate Doom" III

Quint guard: "Silence, or you'll be held in contempt of this court." 
Hot Rod:     "I have nothing *but* contempt for this court!"
   (The Movie)

Scourge: "Give me that blaster!"
Starscream [possessing the half of Scourge's body that's holding the gun]:
              "No, get one of your own!"
   ("Ghost in the Machine")

"I'll get the door."  [runs right through it]
   -- Brawn, "The Ultimate Doom" III

Jazz [seeing Unicron]: "Huh?  Where did *that* come from?"
Cliffjumper:  "Who cares?  I'm more worried about where it's goin'!"
   (The Movie)

Dr. Archeville: "My secret lab is an impenetrable fortress, until I 
                          activate the portal with a voice command."
Starscream:     "Then activate your MOUTH!"
   ("Countdown to Extinction")

Magnus:  "I know you're BORED, Rodimus, but with the mantle of leadership come obligations."
Rodimus: "Mmm... Don't suppose I could interest you in a used mantle?"
   ("The Big Broadcast of 2006")

"Turn that down, Blaster!  I can't hear myself compute!"
   -- Kup, "The Big Broadcast of 2006"

"Then, if you'll validate the forms right here... and here for 
 diagnostics... and for thereputics... and one for parts and 
 labor... and accounting... and here. That's your copy."
   -- Torquelon receptionist to Cyclonus, "Webworld"
Op Prime: "Who says plants aren't intellegent? The Morphobots are repelled by Blaster's music!"
Huffer:   "Yeah, just like the rest of us."
   ("Quest for Survival")

Sandstorm: "Looks like Galvatron's gettin' a little hard up for troops!"
Octane: "Either that or he's got a vermin problem."
   ("Starscream's Ghost")

"Ahh! I knew we should have sprayed the crops!"
   -- annonymous field hand, running from the Insecticons, 
      "A Plague of Insecticons"

"For once, I wish Megatron the best of luck."
   -- Bumblebee, watching the Decepticons fly off to 
     'destroy the Insecticons!', "A Plague of Insecticons"

Annonymous robot (embedded in a view screen): "Hey! I'm stuck up here!"
Cyclonus: "Everybody's got to be somewhere."
   ("Fight or Flee")

"I am sick and tired of being responsible for the welfare of the entire 
universe and its outlying suburbs!"
   -- Rodimus Prime, "The Burden Hardest to Bear"

Beachcomber: "...Remember, we're all one with the universe."
Tracks:           "We're about to become one with the pavement!  Duck!"
   ("The Secret of Omega Supreme")

"We can't hold out forever, Kup, but we can give them one
 humongous repair bill!"
   -- Hot Rod, The Movie

Spike: "There... I think I've got it!"
Bumblebee (being bitten by Ravage): "I sure hope so because,  ooh, I'm sure getting it!"
    ("Fire on the Mountain")

"I think we're gonna need a program to follow the players."
   -- Ironhide watches the Decepticons brawl, "Triple Takeover"

"Look what WE found outside!"
   -- Hotspot, dragging in a rather battered Astrotrain, "Ghost in the Machine"

"Everybody out on bad behavior!"
   -- Breakdown, "Masquerade"

Breakdown: "They're gawking at us, how mortifrying..."
Dead End:  "The word, Breakdown, is mortiFYing."

Arcee:   "I was afraid you'd be trapped outside the city."
Hot Rod: "Hey, I wasn't worried for a microsecond."
Arcee:   "Then you probably didn't understand the situation."
   (The Movie)

Rodimus [under attack by a bajillion Decepticons]: "Last big party of
                 the summer, folks.  Let's go out with a bang!"
Magnus:  "Just once, couldn't your attitude reflect the gravity of the situation??"
Rodimus: "Not if I can help it!"
   ("Five Faces of Darkness" IV)

"Surely a little bath hasn't ended our Autobot problem!"  
  -- Starscream, "S.O.S. Dinobots"

Galvatron: "What do we have here?"
Bruticus:   "I believe it is an Autobot invasion party."
Galvatron: "I KNOW what it is."
Bruticus:   "Didn't you just ask me what we had here?"
Galvatron: "It was just a figure of speech!"
   ("Fight or Flee")

"Okay guys... cross your transistors...or somethin'..."  
   -- Spike, "S.O.S. Dinobots"

"This a peace conference or a slam dance party?"  
   -- Blaster, "The Quintesson Journal"

Spike:   "Great. What'll Daniel and I do when the air runs out?"
Rodimus: "Basically you'll have two choices: suffocate, or smother."
   ("Dark Awakening")

"I don't care if the entire EARTH explodes! We can always relocate."
   -- Megatron, "Dinobot Island" II

Starscream... Tyrant of the Firmament, or just stupid?
"I wish the directory could tell us where to find Starscream." 
   -- Cosmos, "Make Tracks"

"Starscream's been trying to overthrow Megatron for years!  He's a failure."
   -- Blitzwing, "Triple Takeover"

"Starscream is a child!  Even with an army of thousands he couldn't lead 
them in a parade, let alone against us!"
   -- Megatron, "Starscream's Brigade"

Starscream: "Megatron is a wimp!"
Devastator: "So is Starscream!"
  ("Triple Takeover")

"It -- It's empty!"  
(referring to his mind?? :)     
("More Than Meets the Eye" II)

"I WILL rule the universe. Even if I am the only one LEFT in the universe!"
   ("The Revenge of Bruticus")

Cyclonus:   "Trypticon is transforming without authorization!"
Galvatron:  "Trypticon! I order you to STOP!!"
Starscream: [possessing Trypticon]: "I'm just borrowing him for a
                    little while.  Don't worry about a thing!"
Galvatron:  "Starscream! You're a dead mechanism!"
Starscream: "Of course I'm dead, Galvatron!  But not for much longer.
                    And then are you going to be sorry!"
Galvatron:  "I'm ALREADY sorry!!"   
("Ghost in the Machine")

"How do you feel, mighty Megatron? Heh heh!"  
   (The Movie)

"My time will come, Megatron."  
   (MTMTE 1)

(And a scant two episodes later...) 
"My time is now!"  
   (MTMTE 3)

"Megatron is dead. I'm the leader now. Follow me!"
   ("Transport to Oblivion")

"Megatron has fallen! I, Starscream, am now your leader. Decepticons, follow me!"
   ("S.O.S. Dinobots")

"Megatron is no more! I now lead the Decepticons." 
   ("Countdown to Extinction")

"Decepticons! Feast your eyes on your new leader!"
   ("Starscream's Brigade")

"I, Starscream, am now the leader of all Decepticons!"
   ("Starscream's Brigade")

"Now I, Starscream, lead.  And I say attack!"
 ("The Immobilizer")

"Too bad! He's blown his vocal box. I guess that makes me the new leader!"
 ("Desertion of the Dinobots")

"Megatron has gone to lunch.  I'm the leader now!"
    (a.t.t. paraphrase)

Starscream: "Bruticus?..."
Megatron:   "No, Starscream! NOT Bruticus... it's Megatron --  your LEADER!"
    ("Starscream's Brigade")

Starscream: "Megatron! You're still alive!"
Megatron: "Don't sound so pleased!" 
   ("Roll For it")

"Megatron?!  But... you're dead!  I terminated you!"
   ("Starscream's Brigade)

"Megatron! -- But I thought that... I mean everybody was sure that - I -ah -- "  
   ("Countdown to Extinction")                          
        -- Starscream

"This time it really is, 'Goodbye', Starscream!"
  -- Megatron ("Starscream's Brigade")

"I think we seen th' last of ol' Starcreep alright. An' that's the first thing that's gone right all day."
  -- Jazz  ("Countdown to Extinction")

The Mighty Megatron
"Get this straight.  I am Decepticon leader.  You are recyclable!"
   -- Megatron, "Triple Takeover"

"Excellent, doctor!  Your hypno-chip will provide me with the means to 
conquer Earth and the Autobots once and for all!"
   ("The Ultimate Doom" Part 1)

"Soon, Starscream, soon!  Scrapper's invention will give me the power to 
defeat the Autobots once and for all!"
   ("Heavy Metal War")

"What supreme irony, turning their friend... into their foe!"
   ("Autobot Spike")

"How ironic, Autobots, that after all these years, you will meet your end in this 
device, so lovingly crafted by my Constructicons."
  ("The Autobot Run")

"How ironic!  The Autobots will be destroyed with a weapon they created!"
  ("Cosmic Rust")

Megatron: "Impossible! I saw you vaporized!"
Op Prime: "Illusion, Megatron. Just as you caused the humans to see 
 us Autobots as villians, so we too staged an illusion!"
   ("Megatron's Master Plan" II)

"No! I saw you buried in the tarpits!"
   ("Dinobot Island" II)

Rumble:   "Megatron... it's -- it's the Autobots!"
Megatron: "Impossible! They were doomed!"
Skywarp:  "Don't worry. We'll make 'em regret undooming themselves!"
   ("Countdown to Extinction")

Starscream: "It looks like some kind of... rust!"
Megatron:   "Impossible! We are rust-proof!"
Starscream: "Perhaps you're made of shoddy materials, Megatron!"
Megatron:   "That's ABSURD!!"
   ("Cosmic Rust")

"We... shall... rise... again!"
   ("Heavy Metal War")

"I will be... avenged!"
   ("The Ultimate Doom" Part 3)

"But... they have not heard the least of Megatron! I shall be avenged." 
   ("Transport to Oblivion")

"I shall be avenged, Autobots. You hear me? I shall return!"
   ("Fire on the Mountain")

Unicron:   "I am Unicron. And I have summoned you here."
Megatron: "No one summons Megatron!"
Unicron:   "Then it pleases me to be the first."
   (The Movie)

Unicron:   "And nothing!  You belong to me, now."
Megatron: "I belong to NOBODY!"
Unicron:   "Perhaps I misjudged you. Proceed on your way to oblivion."
   (The Movie)

"A warrior doesn't need a head!  Just a good, strong body." 
   ("War Dawn")

[NOTE: I would like to add more to this section, especially Megatron's 
"We'll be back", "Impossible", "how ironic", and "once and for all" quotes.  Feel 
free to contribute.]

The Voice of Doom
"What does it matter if I meet my fate now, or when my circuits fail?"
   -- Dead End, "Five Faces of Darkness" III

Motormaster: "Megatron's in trouble."
Dead End:     "Who cares?"
Wildrider:     "It looks like Starscream's defeated him!"
Dead End:     "So?"   
   ("Starscream's Brigade")

"Big deal, so beat me!"
   -- Dead End, "Masquerade"

"A flying car. How droll!"
   -- Dead End, "Masquerade"

"Hey, now that's interesting!"
   -- Dead End's reaction to being shot at, "Masquerade"

"Please!  Make my death painless!" 
   -- Dead End, "Five Faces of Darkness" III

Dead End:  "If we surrender our energon we're doomed."
Breakdown: "And if we don't we're doomed too!"
Dead End:  "Face it. We're dooooomed."
   ("Five Faces of Darkness" I)

Only Human
   -- Cyclonus, "The Ultimate Weapon"

"Humans are disgusting creatures, but worthy of study... if only to 
discover a better way of destroying them." 
   -- Quintesson scientist, "The Killing Jar"

Op Prime:  "My audio receptors! What is that noise?!"
Hoist:        "Humans call it, 'music'." 
Sparkplug: "Not this human!"
   ("Blaster Blues")

"Are you sure humans do this for fun?"
   -- Hound, on football, "Atlantis, Arise!"

"First time in my life I try to steal a car, and I get one  with a big mouth."

"Hey, I'm not in the mood to be lectured by a car, OK?"

"I dunno, man... I mean, you're a pretty cool guy! For a car."
                       -- Raul, "Make Tracks"

"Maybe you can make a nice coffee table out of him, sir."
   -- Dinsmore, on Optimus Prime, "Prime Target"

Dinsmore: "She's a lovely specimen, Lord Chumley, but, there's a frightful international row brewing over it."
Chumley:   "Ahhh.  These things blow over... Remember the Boer War?"
Dinsmore: "Painfully, sir."
Chumley:   "Oh, yes, well.  Everybody else has forgotten it."   
("Prime Target")

Cyclonus: "What is this place?"
Daniel:      "Uhh... an ice cream factory?"
Cyconlus: "You are insolent, Earth boy!"
Daniel:     "Thanks!"
   ("Surprise Party")

Dirk:    "What was that for?"
Marissa: "Want a LIST?!"
   ("Money is Everything")

Drath: "Does that technology still exist, Snake?  Is it for sale?"
Snake: "This is the world, Mr. Drath. EVERYTHING is for sale."
   ("Only Human")

"They just don't make terrorists like they used to!"
   -- Snake, aka Cobra Commander, "Only Human"

"Creating a mindless slave is simplicity itself!"
   -- Dr. Archeville, "The Ultimate Doom" II

"Sheesh... don't know why anybody'd wanna work for such a bunch of grumpy employers!"
   -- Spike on the Decepticons, "The Ultimate Weapon"

Those Crazy Quintessons
"If you haven't figured out these guys are crazy, you're slower on the  
uptake than I thought."
 -- Kup, "Five Faces of Darkness" II

"It is a day so long in coming I am uncertain how to celebrate it."
"Perhaps... a quiet chuckle."
"Very well then. Let us... chuckle."
  ("Five Faces of Darkness" III)

"I've never seen two planets more eager to blow each other to dust."
  ("The Quintesson Journal")

"What can we do now?"
"From a position of weakness?!"
"From a position of falsehood!"
   ("Five Faces of Darkness" IV)

Quint X: "You are the Autobot named Kup. You are Cybertron's chief of security."
Kup:       "Naw, my name's Teaspoon! And I'm Cybertron's chief dishwasher."
Quint Y: "Zero percent probability of truth. Identification, positive." 
Quint Z: "Tell us the status of Cybertronian defense apparatus."
 Kup:     "Total shambles after the last war. Three kids and a dog could take the planet."
Quint Y: "Four percent probablility of truth. Defenses at optimum level..."
    ("Five Faces of Darkness" II)

"Greetings, specimens! [aside to guard] They are much smarter 
 than they appear to be on the monitor."
   ("The Killing Jar")

Quint 1: "As we predicted... the entire Autobot fleet moves to attack us."
Quints 1, 2, & 3: "Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!"
   ("Dark Awakening")

"You will now put down your arms and return to work, or the dark 
 guardians will incinerate you where you stand. Please decide quickly." 
   ("Forever is a Long Time Coming")

"We can lift off any time. The Quadrant lock will open. 
 Drinks are being served from the rear of the craft..."
   ("Face of the Nijika", sort of :)

"Hey. It's not supposed to do that!"
   -- Sparkplug, "Autobot Spike"

"Your days are numbered now, Decepticreeps!"
    -- Ironhide, one stage minute before dying, the Movie

"Let's see how he likes my new shock blast cannon! 
[Cannon explodes in his hands] 
...Phew! It's a shock alright."
   -- Wheeljack, "Heavy Metal War"

Jazz:      "Like wow, rock 'n' roll with real rocks!"
Sparkplug: "It's called an avalanche!!"
    ("Attack of the Autobots")

"Life support functional.  Weapons systems... charred beyond recognition!"
   -- Quintesson, "The Big Broadcast of 2006"

"You're starting to sound like Galvatron! ...not... that that's a  bad thing... ha ha..."
   -- Sweep, "Webworld"

"Call sanitation.  There's junk all over the street!" 
   -- Defensor, after blasting Bruticus to shreds, "B.O.T."

"I have no head.  I have no head.  I have no head. I have no head..."
   -- a thing with 3 heads, "Webworld"

Cyclonus:  "Bravo, Galvatron. The Autobots' destruction is assured."
Galvatron: "Assured is not enough. I told you I want their heads, Cyclonus!"
[a short while later...]
Cyclonus:  "Mighty Galvatron... where are the Autobots' heads?!"
Galvatron: [whacks him] "What does it matter... Their destruction is assured!"
   ("Five Faces of Darkness" II)

"How big a fool do you take me for?" -- real-life Megatron
"FOOL! Galvatron can be any size he wants!!" -- nightmare Galvatron
   ("War of the Dinobots" and "Nightmare Planet", respectively)

"But Megatron!  We thought you were... ya know... KKKKK!!"
   -- Rumble, "Countdown to Extinction"

Roland:    "Ah, aren't lasers daaaangerous, sir?"
Professor: "Not this one.  It's much too low powered."
[ZAP!!!!! The laser blows a hole straight through the window.]

Starscream: "Wait! I am your creator!"
Brawl:           "You are now our prisoner!"
   ("The Revenge of Bruticus")

Shockwave: "You cannot get out!"  
 [blasts at Skyfire, but blows a hole in the wall instead]
Skyfire: "I can now!"
   ("The Ultimate Doom" III)

Silverbolt: "Way to go, guys! Especially you, Air Raid. You really know what you're doin'!!"
Air Raid [smoldering]: "Heh, yeah, right!"
   ("The Ultimate Weapon")

"Weapon appears unstable.  Suggest abandoning it."
"Suggestion noted -- and IGNORED!"
   -- Soundwave and Megatron, "Masquerade"

Spike:   "Ahuh, this... might be a good time for a break."
Rodimus: "Yeah, couldn't hurt. Seeing as how everybody's already left anyway." 
  ("The Quintesson Journal")

"Excuse me!"
   -- Slag after squashing the Quintesson bailiff, The Movie

"I've never seen anything this beautiful in the whole galaxy! Okay, give me the bomb."
   -- Ultra Magnus, "Fight or Flee"

Blaster: "We're outgunned, man!  We don't have a chance!"
Kup:     "Boy, that's what makes life interesting!"
Rodimus: "Or OVER!"
  ("The Big Broadcast of 2006")

Jazz: "We'll rescue Cosmos, then come back for ya! Just don't move."
Omega Supreme [out of energy and immobile]: "Sarcasm not appreciated."
   ("The God Gambit")

Starscream:     "A malfunction in the timer! That must be it. You will 
                        go back to Earth to check it, doctor."
Dr. Archeville: "And how do you propose that I get there? Doh! On my roller skates?!" 
  ("Countdown to Extinction")

Non Sequitir 
"Hmmm... that does not satisfy my logic circuits."
  -- Op Prime, "The Ultimate Doom" I

Rodimus:     "Hold it! Don't fire!" 
 [Headstrong obeys him and doesn't shoot]
Giant witch: "Ah! For that I shall cast a spell on all of you, ah ha ha ha ha ha!"
    ("Nightmare Planet")

"They're with the Decepticons!"
   -- said by a guy who has just seen his power plant ripped apart by
six driverless, armed construction vehicles calling themselves 
Constructicons, which turned into giant robots with Decepticon symbols on 
their chests. He only figures it out after Scrapper mentions that they work for Megatron.
  ("Heavy Metal War")

Octane (riding in Sandstorm): "Eat my dust!"
Sandstorm: "Uh, that's MY dust!"
(Television Audience: "Uh, that's EXHAUST FUMES.")
   ("Starscream's Ghost")

"We've got to fight it out! If we lose now, Cybertron's next orbit will tear the Earth apart!"
   -- Optimus Prime, "The Ultimate Doom" III
(and Prowl's response, not shown on the cartoon: 
"And if we win...Cybertron's next orbit will still tear the Earth apart!")

Razorclaw:  "Headstrong! Form Predaking!" 
Headstrong: "I can't! [snort] I don't have the instruction booklet!"
  (well, what else could Razorclaw have meant? Headstrong can't 
   *become* Predaking all by himself! :)    ("Nightmare Planet")

Quint: "We must attack by more subtle means."
[NEXT SCENE: the Quints send in a horde of Sharkticons. About as subtle as a nuke.]
  ("The Big Broadcast of 2006")

Quint: "Remember: the Junkions now distrust all other lifeforms...  ourselves included..."  
 (When exactly did the Junkions TRUST the Quints?) 
"...We don't want to let them know we're coming... yet."  
(At what point DO you want to let them know??)  
("The Big Broadcast of 2006")

Quint: "Feed [the Decepticons] only enough to make them hungrier still."  
[NEXT SCENE: The 'cons are standing around, obviously stuffed to capacity with energon.]  
("Five Faces of Darkness" III)

"This is a Decepticon escape module.  It was launched before our own ship 
crashed on Earth, four million years ago."
 -- Megatron tries in vain to explain to us where the Insections came from, 
 "A Plague of Insecticons"

"Our war has gone on for millions of years, Decepticons fighting 
Autobots.  In which opposing leaders -- you and I, Optimus Prime -- may do battle."
 -- Megatron, an apparent victim of sloppy editing, "Heavy Metal War"

"Grimlock here to save universe!"  -- Grimlock, "Call of the Primatives"

"The Dinobots do have weaknesses!  Grimlock is arrogant, 
Slag is hostile, and Sludge...stupid!"
   -- Megatron, "War of the Dinobots"

Slag:   "Which ones 'friends'?"
Sludge: "Ones with face like this... I think..."
Slag:   "That good enough for Slag!"
   ("S.O.S. Dinobots")

"Grimlock not 'Nice Dino'!"
   -- Grimlock, the Movie

Grimlock: "Why? Mm, not know." 
Sludge:   "Me Sludge not know too."
   ("War of the Dinobots")

Red Wizard: "The attack will begin, when the golden sun reaches --"
Grimlock:   "They starting early!"
   ("Madman's Paradise")

"You Blurr lucky we got tired of waiting, or you be nothing but mud pie."
   -- Grimlock, "Chaos"

"Good thing me Grimlock have hard head. Otherwise would now be  
   -- Grimlock, "Call of the Primitives"

"Me Grimlock like shooting when can't miss!" 
   -- Grimlock, "Five Faces of Darkness" II

"Me Grimlock need new strategy."
   -- Grimlock, the Movie

Swoop:  "Me want to thank Carly for fixing Dinobots."
Sludge: "Me Sludge thank you too.
Snarl:  "Snarl thank you too."
Sludge: "Two too!"
   ("Desertion of the Dinobots" II)

"You, Megatron, tricked us.  Make us fight good leader, Optimus Prime.  
Prime risk own life to save us.  BAD MEGATRON!!"
   -- Grimlock, "War of the Dinobots"

Grimlock:   "Me Grimlock mixed up! If wizard so powerful, why he need me, Grimlock?"
Red Wizard: "Because! His enemies are many. Like insects they 
             swarm and attack, and attack, and attack! Driven by 
             hate, by greed, by envy! THEY WILL NOT STOP until
             THEY rule Minonea! Or, until THEY are DESTROYED!"
Grimlock:   "Me Grimlock just wanted to know..."
   (Madman's Paradise)

"Me Grimlock no bozo, me Grimlock king!"
   -- Grimlock, the Movie

"This switch real rad!  Gonna pull!"
   -- Grimlock, "Grimlock's New Brain"

Grimlock:  "Me Grimlock not care, whole planet fall apart! Make no difference to me, Grimlock."
Wheeljack: "With you on it?"
Grimlock:  "Hmm... hadn't thought of that."
   ("The Ultimate Doom" II)

Quint: "Sharkticons, execute them, execute them!"
Grimlock (points to Quints): "Me say execute them!"
   (The Movie)

Daniel:   "I dunno... my mom says never to go off with strangers."
Grimlock: "Everybody here stranger. Us not go with stranger, us not go!"
   ("Madman's Paradise")

Grimlock:  "Grimlock save universe! Muah ho ho. Oh, Grimlock hero!"  
Primacron: "Ahhh! Stop it, you stupid --"
Grimlock:  "Why you call Grimlock stupid?"
Primacron: "You ruined my lab!"
Grimlock:  "Me Grimlock think that is smartest thing I ever done!  Muwah hah hah!"
   ("Call of the Primitives")

Wreck-gar Will Put You in Good Hands
"What he want? Me Grimlock no understand!"
  -- Grimlock, "Chaos"

Wreck-gar: "Well then.  You are in danger of being cancelled or losing your time slot!"
Magnus:    "What'd he say?!"
Rodimus:   "We're gonna get killed."

Rodimus:   "Wreck-gar, what happened?"
Wreck-gar: "Nyaa, I dunno!  I was a victim of soicomstance!  Nyuk nyuk nyuk!"

"Yes, friends, and now, destroy Unicron. Kill the grand poobah. Eliminate 
even the toughest stain!"
   -- Wreck-gar, the Movie

"I'm a doctor, not a forklift!"
"His engines, they cannae take th' strain!"
"He's dead, Jim."
   (various bits from "The Return of Optimus Prime" I)

[nasty grin] "I'm a Pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?"
   (The Return of Optimus Prime" I)

"Ziplock bag not locking. Pop top can not popping!"

[Points to a pile of scrap that used to be a ship] 
"Trouble-free engine not guarenteed." 

"We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. We got the touch!"
   ("The Big Broadcast of 2006")

[Just as a pile of goo converges to keep Galvatron out] 
"Doors closing at midnight!"
   ("Five Faces of Darkness" IV)

Stuff and nonsense 
"It would seem to be the only meritorious way out of our meritricious situation!"
"Yeah, me too.  Like he said."
  -- Highbrow and Hardhead, "The Rebirth" 

"No more giant Galvatrons, and no more snake monsters."
   -- Rodimus Prime, "Nightmare Planet"

"Alert! Alert! Evil Martian flingoes are invading supermarkets across the 
planet.  They have come to steal Earth's ammonia!"
   -- Teletran One under the influence, "Kremzeek!"

"Warning.  Evil presence now infiltrating Autobot headquarters."
   -- Teletran One, mind reader, "Attack of the Autobots"

"...Suddenly I feel like stealing energy and destroying!"
   -- Thrust, "Megatron's Master Plan" I

Sparkplug: "Remember: first, drain evil; second, recharge good."
Jazz:      "Let's hope it don't end up with third, bury Jazz!"
   ("Attack of the Autobots")

"There's no such thing as flesh-eating lava!" 
   -- Hoist, "Hoist Goes Hollywood"

"Wait a minute... since when do ghosts tumble out of control through  space?"
   -- Cyclonus, "Ghost in the Machine"

"There is nothing like dining at home.  Or is that, on home?"
   -- Tornadron, "Call of the Primitives"

"Your trash got up an' took a hike, before I could squash 'em!"
   -- annonymous henchman, "Only Human"

"Are you the new admital? 
[catches sight of Galvatron] 
 Oh! Never mind. I see."
   -- Torquelon head therapist, "Webworld"

Therapist: "Galvatron, don't fight it. Just say whatever comes to mind."
Galvatron: "Rip... kill... mangle!"
Therapist: "Yes. Go on..."
Galvatron: "Tear... rend... DISTORT!"
Therapist: "Interesting."
Galvatron: "I'll destroy everything here. Everything! And THEN, I'll  destroy the Autobots!"
Therapist: "Yes... tell me about the Autobots."
Galvatron: "I HATE Autobots! I hate CYCLONUS!... And I'm not very fond of YOU, either!!"

Brawl:   "Add Starscream to the revenge roster!"
Swindle: "After Megatron, Cybertron, AND the planet Earth!"
   ("The Revenge of Bruticus")

"This is an attack, no, no, this is a hijacking, I mean we're takin' over this boat!"
   -- Breakdown, "Cosmic Rust"

Perceptor: "Ultra Magnus, a cursory evaluation of Decepticon capability 
                     indicates a distinct tactical deficiency."
Magnus:    "In other words, Perceptor--"
Springer:   "We're outnumbered!"
   (the Movie)

"Hey, nobody calls Soundwave un-crasa-matic!"
   -- Rumble, the Movie

"I say we pulvaronorize the Autobots!  I say we pulveronerize 'em!"
   -- Rumble, "Five Faces of Darkness" Part 1

"I shall enjoy destroying you this time even more than the last!"
   -- Galvatron, "Starscream's Ghost"

Tracks:      "I feel like a fool."
Sunstreaker: "Do you wanna quit?"
Tracks:      "No, but I still feel like a fool."
   ("Hoist Goes Hollywood")

"Heat seaking missles... seak...heat!" (well, duh)
   -- Skywarp, "S.O.S. Dinobots"

"I've never been to the moon before."  (DOUBLE duh)
   -- Carly, "Blaster Blues"

"The smoke is sticking to me."
   -- Ramjet, "Autobezerk"

Ramjet:     "Hey, my circuits electric just out blew!"
Thrust:     "Too mine. I'm blind flying!"
Starscream: "Away move before collide we!"

Arcee:  "Sludge! Snarl! Are we glad to see you!"
Sludge: "Me Sludge not glad to see you!"
Snarl:  "You all dead!"
Sludge: "Mm. Maybe we dead!"
   ("Dark Awakening")

"Well all I can say is.... RAAAAGGHH!!!!" (usually true :) 
   -- Galvatron, "Ghost in the Machine"

"Ahhh!  Ghuuu!  Ohhh!  Eeee!  Doooh!!  Uhhhh!!"
   -- Astrotrain, "Ghost in the Machine"

"Bloch, bloch, bloch."
   -- the evil purple dragon, "Nightmare Planet"

"Terrorcons fight EVERYBODY!!"
   -- Hun-Grr, "Call of the Primitives"

"Hun-grr not hungry anymore. Hun-grr angry!"
   -- Hun-grr, "Money is Everything"

"Mmbleah, Blot feel sick."
   -- Blot, after being cleansed of all germs, "Money is Everything"

Hun-grr:    "Hun-grr hungry. Growrr!"
Sinnertwin: "Growrr?! Rip metal. Eat food!"
[fight ensues. Don't ask me why...]
   ("Money is Everything") 

Ultra Magnus: "This cannot be!"
Cyclonus:        "Yes, it is... a cotton candy funnel."
Quintesson:    "A cotton candy funnel is a cartoon special effect 
               that has collapsed in on itself, becoming so poorly
               drawn that neither adults nor children can withstand
               its immense cheesiness."
[NOTE: if you don't get this one, go watch "The Killing Jar" again. :]

Future Notes
"We'll be back, Megatron!  Bank on that!" -- Optimus Prime, "Traitor"

"Only Razorclaw commands Predacons!"
    -- Razorclaw, "Call of the Primatives"

"Prepare him for maximal intervention."
    -- Torqueulon head therapist, "Webworld"

"Hey!  Who designed this rat trap?"
    -- Grapple, "Prime Target"

Parting Shots
"But is it really over, Optimus Prime?"  -- Spike, "Heavy Metal War"

"Parting is such sweet sorrow. Farewell, Autobots, forever!"
  -- Megatron, "The Ultimate Doom" I

"Have fun playing crystal nurse, Screamer!  Byeeee!!!!"
  -- Skywarp to Starscream, "Fire on the Mountain"

"Us fight when *us* feel like it.  Now good-bye!"
  -- Grimlock, "Desertion of the Dinobots" I

"It's over, Prime..."
  -- Megatron, on numerous occasions

"It isn't over yet, Megatron!"
  -- Optimus Prime, "Countdown to Extinction"

"I tell you this is the end!!"
  -- Galvatron, "The Ultimate Weapon"

"We shall see, Galvatron... We shall see."
  -- Lord Zarak, the very last line of the series, "The Rebirth" III

*****************************THE END***********************************
Robert Powers (that's me), Naomi Novik (the lady of shalott); Gregory R. Harper; Stan Lui; David Filip; Donald Shaffer; H. Jameel al Khafiz; Zachary Adams; Randy (Smash, the 6th Dino on the TF MUSH); Steve R. Stonebraker; Suzanne M. Ferree; James M Sorensor; CHARLES M KOSIO??; Ryan Kowalchuk; Douglas K Vanderhoek; Ken Schmidt; Gregory Gaub; Mark Moran; Sam Dorton; Rusty 'Mush' O'Dell; -Ichi-; Douglas Hayden; Devon Ralph Jones (Jazz); Stephen Bajzek (Max); timothy gibbons; Opera Man; Kendrick Kerwin Chua; Dave Edwards (Zobovor); Joona Palaste (there, ya happy? :).

Special thanks to Naomi for compiling the original list off of the newsgroup.

Back to Rob's Pile of Transformers